A Healing Within

THE BETTER CHOICE

2011-02-08T12:00:00.006-06:00

It was a delicious Sunday morning as Tim and I pulled into the parking lot of his Mother's retirement community. We enjoy the beautiful and serene environment of the community as we visit each week. We stepped out of our car and noticed a woman outside her van, two cars away, railing on her kids inside the vehicle. This went on and on as we walked past, and although she saw us, she never lowered her voice. We were almost to the front door when I had taken all I could and I turned around and cleared my voice. That just seemed to fuel her fire, and she began yelling at me. I thought at least her attention was drawn to something else besides her children, even if it was pointed toward me.

After reflecting on the incident for a few days, I wondered what would have been the better choice in dealing with these types of situations? The woman is clearly over her head, and in a war zone. Instead of holding the line for her, my reaction was to turn my head toward her and clearing my voice while in her direction, was like shooting her with my disapproval. She got the message and clearly fired back with all the ammunition she had.

I have thought about the times I have been at whits end when our children were young. How well did I do when pushed to the breaking point? I don't remember railing on my children at the top of my lungs in public....but the kids may remember differently.

I wondered what would have been helpful to me, a mother of five, while I was in my war zone out in public? What would I have said to an onlooker as I was trying to contain my children or even having to discipline them? A kind word would be more helpful to me than a stare, a glare or someone clearing their voice in disapproval.

I do believe that motherhood is most rewarding and yet it is the hardest job I have ever done. It is a 24-7 experience, with little or no let up. I am reminded of the toll it takes on a person every time I watch our children with their children.

That being said, I am also reminded of a comment Jamie Lee Curtis recently made when she said, "our children are our paparazzi." Good or bad, my children learned from the example we gave. They were always watching, taking snapshots of how we reacted, interacted, communicated, and handled ourselves. They were in the school of life 24-7 and we were their teachers.

I do not improve with belittling, yelling and put downs. I improve with loving, kind words, and encouragement. When someone takes their time with me and listens to my heart, and comes from their heart, it melts away all insecurities and the message is heard loud and clear.

I hope the next time I come upon this type situation I will take a second and ask, "What is the better choice?" Clearly, life is about choices and I have made some doozies along the way. The good news is......I.can always choose again!

Be Well My Friend,

Char

That's my story, and now I'm stuck to it!!!

2011-01-17T08:22:00.005-06:00

My husband Tim was fond of a video game called "The Legend of Zelda." Every chance he could, he would steal away to get some time with Zelda. It seemed as though "she" became the mistress in our lives, and many long nights and early mornings I found Tim excited that he and his "Zelda" had gone to the next level!

Tim was always enjoyed fantasy movies, and the premise of the game Zelda was for the Character Link to solve mysteries, find relics that would assist him in his quest, and free the Princess Zelda. I couldn't even say how many hours Tim spent with Zelda, and to tell the truth, it felt like "she" had come between us. Looking forward to the end of the game became a quest of mine, and if the game happened to vanish from the face of the earth after it was completed, was my fantasy!

Since the days of Zelda, I've thought about how the character Link would spend hours upon hours looking for the way into the dungeon, around danger, slaying dragons, and he used all sorts of skills acquired in the process. Link would not give up when he lost all his life force, and had to go back to the beginning and start over. He knew there was a goal to reach and he did whatever it took to reach it.
Link was faced with monsters and dragons, spiders and hideous creatures that were out to cause him to forget the quest and retreat, but he never did. Link foraged ahead, in the face of insurmountable circumstances and against all odds. Link was small in stature, and to look at him, one would think his quest was impossible, but in the end Link rode through in victory.

I have realized how life seems to resemble the quest of Link trying to free his Princess Zelda. Link has a story, as well as each of us. The computer game of Zelda is a program written into software for the player to navigate through. I think we as humans are more like computer programs than we realize. We come into life, situations happen to us along the way, and a "story" begins. Sometimes the story points us to paths that are beneficial and guide us carefully to our goal. Some stories knock us way off course into areas that are filled with danger and deception. In "The Legend of Zelda," Link did not spend time complaining about his dragon or whatever was antagonizing him, he continued to push forward. This is where the glitch or virus takes over in real life and mimics the viruses we receive from "surfing the internet." Outside forces influence and affect our personal stories, and instead of moving ahead, we get lost in the experience of fighting the dragon. Although the dragon may have been slayed, the fight, the dragon and every event continues being played over and over in our minds.

THAT'S MY STORY, AND I'M STUCK TO IT, does little good to accelerate us to our goal. It takes conscious effort not to get stuck in an experience and have it take over our lives. We can re-program our mental software, and the first step is to recognize what has happened to cause us to get to this level. The experience, and the players in each chapter of our lives is only an event. It does not have to become who we are.

I can honestly say that every situation in my life has proved to be for my greatest good. I have been guided so excellently along my path, and although the dragon may have been friend, family member or complete stranger, it spurred me to a much better outcome than I could have imagined.
As with Link in "The Legend of Zelda," we can not see what lies ahead. We are in the game of life experiencing every moment of every day anew. Living and re-living the past will get us more of the same. When we live fully in the present moment, we can change the course of what we can expect our future to become. It starts one thought at a time. Controlling thoughts about past events is the key to getting to the next level. When past, unpleasant events creep in, we have the choice to change the channel in your mind to something more desirable. With practice, we can experience the story, move through life with grace and ease, and reach the goal we so desire to attain.

It is that simple, and it is that difficult.

I have struggled with being "stuck" many times in my own life, and have to make conscious effort on where I want to place my focus. Friends, family, acquaintances, images and events that have been excellent to experience become my focal point. It's a good thing that my personal "Book of Life" is still incomplete. I look forward to the next chapter, the one after that, and the one after that!

Be Well My Friend,
Char

A No Panty Day

2011-01-12T17:12:00.000-06:00

Several years ago, as church members, another lady and I were assigned to see several women each month. One of the little ladies was several years older than my companion and I, and suffered from all sorts of illnesses. The most debilitating was being depressed.

We visited with our little friend each month, sometimes bringing a message, sometimes a little goody, and she always appreciated our visits. This woman lived in a small trailer home that she kept neat and tidy, but she was very house bound without the ability to get out on her own.

One day when we called to visit she said it really wasn't a good day to come, but that she would let us in. When we arrived, she was still in her night gown, and had been in the same night gown for several days. Her depression had gotten the best of her, and when she was like this, she would stay in bed all day and all night. We chatted and visited and soon her spirits seemed lifted. She then announced that as bad as she may look, that she WAS wearing her panties. I had to laugh inside and didn't quite know what to say besides, " Oh, That's nice," and we went on with our conversation.

I think we all have times of sadness or depression. It's a part of life. I know I have had my blue moments, and wallowed in the depths of despair. A doctor might ask when one is depressed, how depressed are you on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very low and maybe very suicidal. I think we could also add in that scale whether or not it is a "No Panty Day."

Most of us don't fall in the category of a "No Panty Day." Our biggest dilemma is whether we want to wear a certain color, or brand or cut. Unless one doesn't wear underwear in the first place. Not caring about dressing ourselves, grooming ourselves or taking care of ourselves is an indication that someone is really suffering in one way or the other.

Our little friend inproved with each of our visits and phone calls. In fact, I never saw her that low again. I still keep up with her, although it has been years since I was assigned to visit her, and I live 2 hours away. She always appreciates my phone calls, and tells me I am her best friend in the whole world. The saddest part of this whole story is that now this little lady has been in an assisted living residence for a few years, and only on a couple of occasions has anyone from her church ever visited or called.

People talk about random acts of kindness, and I think they are wonderful ways of showing compassion and caring to others. Many of the old folks homes are visited at Christmastime by carolers, and forgotten the rest of the year. How much time does it really take out of our lives to remember someone else? Phone calls, cards, and a short visit can pull someone out of the depths of loneliness and give them a flicker of hope that someone in this world actually cares.

I have found that helping others when I see a need brings me the greatest joy, and whatever cares I may have been experiencing prior, seem far less important when I am in the service of another. And, although I may be down and out from time to time, with a chuckle I remind myself I am not so low that this is a "No Panty Day!"

Be Well My Friend,
Char

Give it Some Thought!

2010-12-10T08:40:00.000-06:00

(Winter 2009)
Winter months bring some of the most challenges for me with cloudy skies and temperatures that chill me to the core. We may not have much snow here in East Texas, but our cold is bone-chillin' cold....well it seems that way to this hot-blooded Texan anyway.

I've thought lately how it may prove more advantageous to quit fighting the winter months and enjoy what they offer. I may not be inclined to venture very long outside due to the cold or the constant rain we've had, but there is plenty to do inside that gets neglected the three other seasons. Whether I choose to do them or not is purely up to me.

This past year we have had an incredible amount of rain. We live in a holler down, down, down the end of the road, and one would think we would be flooded out. Quite the contrary though, the water continues down past us, and we are better off than most on flat land. However, even our land is saturated, as we haven't seen much of a let up. Friends and family up north are dealing with the worst winter weather since 1922 and expect more to come. Whether we deal with snow or rain, there is much talk generated about the weather.

In the past few years the hurricanes that have hit the coast have been very destructive, and I remember the news reporting one million people stuck on the highway leaving Houston. I thought of those people and what they must have felt, what they hoped and prayed for as they were trapped with no where to go, waiting for the hurricane to hit.

After hearing so much buzzing and talking about how bad things were going to be, about how terrible they expected this hurricane's effect was predicted to effect our area of East Texas with straight line winds, I asked myself what I would hope and pray for in this situation. I knew what I wanted, and then I asked my sweetheart Tim, what he would ask for in prayer. Tim gave it some thought and said the exact thing I hoped for....that this storm would loose its intensity. We watched the news for the next couple of days, with a prayer in our heart that the hurricane would loose its strength. The storm did loose intensity, and 1 million people stranded on the highway leaving Houston were spared.

Positive thoughts and prayers are incredible tools in my life. Focusing thought has its challenges, and I still feel very much like a novice, but see great improvement and astonishing results. I have had plenty of experience with thinking negatively and getting negative results. Choosing to switch thinking about what I desire, and away from what I don't want continues to amaze me.

Be well my friend,
Char

Wide Berth

2010-12-10T07:41:00.053-06:00

When we moved out to East Texas several years ago, we talked about what kind of experiences we might encounter. We knew to expect snakes out in the wild, and about how to identify them. You know the saying, "Red and Yellow Kill a Fellow?" After finding a large (six foot long) chicken snake in our chicken house on several occasions, the old sayings didn't have any meaning! I was concerned about snakes for myself and Tim, and also for our children and grandchildren when they came to visit. My saying soon sounded like this, "If it slithers it is dead.... boom," and it didn't matter what color it was. Snakes were not welcomed anywhere around our house or ponds.

It was disconcerting to find a snake curled up under one of our hens who was sitting on 15 eggs, only to find there were no eggs left. The snake would move very slowly and ease its way under the chicken without her giving much notice and eat one egg at a time, and then slither off only to come back for the next batch.

A snake is a snake is a snake. They do what snakes do. They clean up the environment, including my eggs in the chicken house. They are not malicious, they are just being snakes. The only problem was, I took over the 23 acre environment they were accustomed to living in, and they didn't get the memo.

We had another issue with our ducks and chickens and would find them dead without their heads. The locals said this could be a skunk, raccoon, or weasels. We never caught anything, just found the carcass without a head.

I have labeled people in my past using animals names. After giving it some thought, I realize how degrading this is to the animal kingdom. A snake does what a snake does, and so do weasels, feral pigs and skunks. They forage for food, kill it and eat it. They take what they need, reproduce, and the cycle of life continues. We humans make choices in life, and although we may act poorly, and make choices that hurt each other, the behavior is far beneath that of skunks, snakes, pigs and weasels.

Most everyone I know has or will have dealings with people whose actions affect them adversely. Some stories are more painful than others. Once bitten by the experience (and it may take a time or two to get the lesson), we soon come to identify these types of people. Just as I have learned with snakes, feral pigs, raccoons and skunks.

To be angry with a snake because it eats my eggs, or a feral pig for rooting up my land, or the killing of our chickens and ducks is pretty ridiculous. It is also more advantageous for me to deal with people who behave poorly in the same way, and identify the signs that come with these types. Our values may not be the same, whether we have been taught out of the same books, have the same faith, or raised in the same environment. The lesson for me, as with the snake, is to recognize what is in my path, and to give wide it berth.

Be Well My Friend,
Char

JUST GET OUT OF THE BOAT

2010-11-09T09:17:00.011-06:00

My father was taught about right and wrong, the 10 commandments, church doctrine etc. He also had another eduction, which was the education within the walls of his home. My Dad’s father was an alcoholic, and his parents were divorced when he was young. My Dad’s mother married 7 more times during her lifetime. My father’s little German Grandmother had the responsibility in raising a spirited little boy. Dad had a religious education, but it was his home life that influenced and molded his thinking, and affected his ability to raise his 7children.

At my Dad’s 78^th birthday, he apologized to me for not being a good father. He went on to say, that although he had a religious upbringing and was taught better, and he knew better, but he just wished he could have been a better father for me.

At the time my father apologized to me, my heart was filled with compassion for him. The truth is, as a child I did not realize our home life was any different from other children. It was only after I began having children of my own, that I realied how deficit I was in certain areas because of my home life, and how I brought baggage from my upbringing, and it affected the relationship with my sweetheart and our children.

That being said, I have since come to the understanding that I am not a victim of my upbringing, and the person I have become is the result of my growth through the hard moments in my life. I can not blame the last 36 years I have been out of my parents home, on the 18 years I lived with them. I now appreciate where I’ve come from and I am thankful for the experiences from my childhood.

My parents were hard workers, and did the best to provide for their children. Those attributes run through my veins too. I learned other things in my childhood. My Dad was a screamer and he had a volitale temper, he drank too much and cussed like a sailor. I am not proud to say, in the past, I also had quite the temper, and my children got a good education because of my example.

As our own little family began growing, so did the stress, lack of money, more stress, house bursting at the seams with children, more lack of money and did I mention, more stress.

We came to a crossroads one day. The pain from discord and disharmony became unbearable. In trying to turn the situation around, a shift had to be made to salvage our family. We lacked the ability up to that point to change our situation.

For years, I had attended church, and did all the right and proper things and still I wished someone would tell me how to make things right. The truth is, I don’t think I would have heard it if they had, because the solution was too easy. The Secret was that if I wanted my life to change, I had to shift my thinking. That old saying, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got,” would apply here.

I think my families are perfect for me because within this circle is everything I need to grow, to stretch, to learn. I learned how to love, how it feels to have my heart broken, and how it feels to have it mend. I could not learn as well without that circle of people so closely surrounding me. They stretch and pull me. Sometimes I can look at it as a curse. I can also choose to see it as a blessing. I am here to learn My lessons, and move forward; just like I did when I went to school. I started in Kinder and moved forward each year, learning lessons and if I didn’t learn the lessons, I knew I wouldn’t pass. This is the same with life. If I didn’t learn the lesson, I continue to repeat the process until it is learned.

How can I think of what lies ahead after this life, if my life here is in shambles? I am the Michelangelo of my life, whether that outcome is desirable or not, is my own doing.The David I am sculpting is Me. The Most important aspect: to change my attitude AND FOCUS on the things I was grateful for. I found a new way of thinking about each situation I was faced with. When my attitude changed, everything around me changed. “What a man thinks about and thanks about, he will bring about.”

I have thought about how each time something was accomplished that looked impossible; like moving into a larger home, buying a better vehicle, getting bills paid, this was done with prayer and gratitude and concentrating on what I wanted, and not what I didn’t want, or what I didn't have.

A story is told of Jesus Christ walking across the water towards a boat where Peter his disciple and the others were. Peter got out of the boat and walked across the water to Jesus. There are many theories about how it happened. For me, the story was saying it was time to get out of the boat and start walking. What I think becomes my reality. If I believe something to be difficult, painful, hard, etc., it shows up that way. What is conceived in the mind, and believed in the heart, will manifest in the body. If I could change a situation, what would it look like? If my thoughts create my reality, what I am thinking about, what would I now choose to be focusing on?

I am the creator of my own little world. I sculpt My world everyday. What do I want My David to look like? The trick is to believe it is possible. I Believe, have faith and keep that goal in front of me and work towards that. By focusing on what I want, not what I don’t want, I am creating my Heaven right here on earth.

I have lived both sides of this issue and I never want to go back to old negative thoughts. I am grateful for being able to attend the school of life, and all my teachers who showed up to help me learn my lessons.

Be Well My Friend,
Char

ATONEMENT

2010-08-06T08:29:00.013-05:00

Several years ago, while attending a course in Rapid Eye Technology, the subject came up about Atonement. The trainers in Rapid Eye took the word apart and we discussed the "At One Ment" of the word Atonement. That discussion of At-One-Ment has since stayed with me.

At-one-ment

Whether layman, student or professional, we are all humans on our own journeys in life. We have issues, dramas, pain and sorrows. Most people I know that go into the "healing arts" do so for themselves first and foremost. I am no different.

People have referred to me as "Empathic" which is to mean I "feel" others issues or pains. Sometimes I would just notice certain feelings, and other times I would FEEL the issues and take them on. It made me feel special to be "Empathic." It gave me a sort of notoriety. Over the course of many years, it has caused me more pain than anything else. Why would I need to "take on" others' life issues or pains? How does that benefit me?

I became more "Empathic" as my life became filled with more drama and issues. This continued and peaked during a very painful family issue that arose and I came down with a case of Shingles last year.

After the Shingles incident, I attended an Alchemy Course which in retrospect, turned my life completely around. The course was not particularly pleasant, and in fact was the most difficult course I have ever experienced. I felt the pain of the group to the 10th power. At this time I remembered the word "Atonement" or At One Ment, and thought of feeling the suffering and pain of every individual in our group. I decided from that point on, that to "notice" is not to "take it on." It didn't do me any good to suffer along with the sufferer. I can be better used another way.... but how? Every modality I have employed up to this point has served me to release, let go, and move forward. However I would continue to fall back into old patterns with time.

After weeks of working on our new home, I have had the opportunity of having total quiet. Just me and my thoughts, with no interruptions. I realized that 99.99% of my thoughts are old thoughts, old programs and re-runs. I know that "Reality Follows Thought", and running the same programs will get me more of the same. I decided to change the channel in my mind to the Blank Channel. It was not easy to just "be" with whatever I was doing, without some thought or song running through my mind, but with practice, I can do it with ease.

In the movie, THE MOSES CODE, the subject was God's name or I AM THAT I AM. In the context of the movie the name is I AM THAT....I AM. This way of saying God's name gives a whole new meaning to "Love Your Brother as Yourself." If I am that, or in other words, I am my brother and my Brother is me, it becomes easier to forgive when we feel put upon. The things that hurt me the most are a reflection of Me.

The ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho'Oponopono teaches that we all run programs. We are like computers storing data. We get triggered by events or issues because we are running the same program as the perpetrator. Interesting concept. How can I be angry with what my brother does or says, when I do the same thing? This same principle was taught in the Movie, The Moses Code. I AM THAT.....I AM.

As I began studying Ho'Oponopono and found there was something to this practice. There are four steps: I am sorry....Please forgive me....Thank you and I love you. After beginning the process with whatever came to mind and whomever hurt or offended me in my life, I realized I was breaking down walls and releasing old pains and sorrows as I had never done in the past. I learned that Atonement was At-One-Ment, as I saw the Me in others and others in myself. When reflecting on an issue that was painful, I would ask myself, "Have you ever done that? Have you ever acted like that? Have you ever felt that way? I had on most every occasion been guilty of the same thing I was finding fault with in my family member, neighbor, friend, spouse, etc. I now understood that "removing the mote from my eye, also removed the speck from the offender. Every night I dreamed about old issues and would wake in the morning and started the process to clear and clean old offenses away. I would think of the offense and I might say, " I am truly sorry for my part in this issue. If there is anything I had done that caused you pain and sorrow, Please forgive me. Thank you for this experience and what it has taught me. And finally, I love you. I noticed how different it felt as I went through the process and addressed Deity, the offender or myself.

As I practice Ho'Oponopono, I understand that as I clean and clear old issues and past offenses, the programs change. Not only is my life affected, but others lives are affected too. If I am not running old programs as someone else is running, I don't get triggered. The saying that "likes attract," can be applied here. Life is running smoother, and I am more loving. If I have a snag and can not go through all the statements in clearing, I just keep repeating "I love you," in my mind and the situation generally shifts.

If you are interested in Ho'Oponopono check out this website:

http://www.hooponoponohelp.com/

Be Well,
Char

2010-06-14T10:01:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's been 4 months and I'm just now writing again. To tell the truth, I had been in a funk for several months and then our lives moved in the past 2 months with fervor. We sold Healing Within Holistic Retreat after 9 months and 2 contracts. The first contract was very promising, and I had the house all packed up. One week before closing and purchasing a home we had a contract on, the contract on our farm fell through. It was a little daunting to say the least, and knocked me off my feet, but after a while, I was putting boxes in closets, and rebounded. I was coming home, and kept looking forward to that thought. The prayer I keep in my heart, that God would send the angels forward and prepare a place for Tim and I, was always on my mind. I was not disappointed at the outcome.

This experience has been very enlightening for me, and I wouldn't change a thing about it, even though it seemed like it took forever, and was painful at times. I kept reminding myself that something better was coming, and I was amazed at how well it has turned out.

We even found a better home in a better neighborhood, for better money. I'm always looking at resale value, and we came out ahead in that aspect also.

Our home has a neat aspect to it with courtyard in the middle. We are very excited about making that courtyard our little sanctuary. We've put up shade sails and I'm working on making this spot my piece of heaven.

That's what living at the farm taught me. I can make heaven anywhere I am. It's up to me. I have taken the peace and beauty of nature I found out in East Texas, and can replant it wherever I go. I sit out in the courtyard and play my Native American Flute just as I did as I sat on the front porch at the farm. The feelings are the same.

We came back to Dallas different than the people who left 11 years ago. We were escaping from stress and the rush of city life to the calming, slow pace of the country. Tim said it is the American dream to own land and we lived that dream. We experienced something most people only dream about. Now we are dreaming another dream. It doesn't make the last dream worse or better, it's a different dream.

Yesterday the new owner of the farm called about an issue with the tractor. Tim answered his questions and he spoke of how happy they were to be there. He reported his wife woke up that morning with the sun shining in the window, as she lay in bed, and said, "it doesn't get much better than this." I have said that very phase a zillion times on the farm. It doesn't take away from my life here in Plano, Texas. I thought the same thought yesterday as we spent time with 3 of our 5 children and their families. One after the other came to visit and we laughed, ate, and played together and I thought ...."it doesn't get much better than this." Life is good.

Tim and I are constantly reminded about our thoughts and how they precede reality. We are so grateful for the experiences, people, and events of our lives in East Texas. What a grand journey it has been! Many lessons learned, many doors opened, and our hearts are changed forever.

Be Well My Friend,
Char

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

2010-02-05T14:00:00.010-06:00

The other day, a commercial on television had a John Denver song in the background, and I remembered how much I loved his songs from so many years ago. I wondered why John Denver touched my heart. I realized that not only the soothing tone of his voice, and the message he brought definitely played a part, but also the memories associated with that time in my life when he was popular, were some of the sweetest. John Denver was there during my courtship with my husband Tim, 35 years ago. John Denver accompanied us on our trip through the Rocky Mountains, as we sang along with him about Rocky Mountain Highs and Colorado. John Denver sang about his love of nature, his wife, family, country living, and grandma's feather-bed to name a few. Thirty Five years ago, this was everything I hoped my life to be. The good life.

I remembered the day I heard he died in an airplane crash. Such a loss, such a waste I thought. I didn't realize at the time that John Denver's life lives on in me and each person that enjoys the message he continues to bring with song. The song of his heart is heard everyday in our homes, cars, and on our mp3 players.

I felt much the same when Michael Jackson passed. I was deeply affected by Michael Jackson. Memories of our daughter Diana, performing a funny dance we later came to know as "Thriller" was one of the moments I hope I never forget. Michael Jackson's music would always lift me from the doldrums and I had to get up and move with the rhythm of the beat. Performing in Talent Shows alongside a Michael Jackson Look-a-like, with all the moves and dance steps were grand memories of a time that has long passed, and still puts a smile on my face to recollect.

Michael and John were able to touch the lives of millions of people on this planet because they sang from their hearts. They knew about love, loss, peace, and keeping the planet safe. Their messages live in our hearts, because those messages are universal. Those messages break all boundaries, of race, religion, or financial status.

My life is not much different than either of these men, although I am not famous by any stretch of the word. I am a wife, and mother to 5 children, and 12 grandchildren, friend to some, acquaintance to others, and stranger to most. The song of my heart my not be played on the radio and heard throughout the planet, but it is heard nonetheless, and has influence upon everyone I come in contact. The same can be said for each person who has lived and died.

The song of my heart includes an abundance of peace, love, laughter, family, kindness, health, service, learning, fun, music, water, open skies, rain showers, newborn babies, grandchildren, good loving relationships with my children, family and friends, walks in the park, good food, this beautiful earth and its inhabitants, and laying in the arms of my sweetheart. Really not much different than the messages brought by John and Michael.

Be well my friend,
Charlotte

MY CHILDREN--ALL GROWN UP

2009-11-17T12:06:00.019-06:00

Giving birth to five children in seven years was either a remarkable feat or just plain insanity in my case. I loved my little ones, but at times the experience was very taxing and pushed me to the edge. Having little children has its pluses though. If they acted up, they were disciplined. Time out was a good choice for one or two of our children, and not beneficial for others. A disappointed look might be all it took for one daughter in particular, and totally ineffectual for most of our other children.

Discipline is necessary with any child, but with a brood, it was mandated. I remember thinking, "I'll never have children like that," when I heard one mother relate a story about her three sons. Seems as though this young mother had accidentally locked herself out of the house and went around to the kitchen door. There to her surprise, were her young sons and a commercial sized can of peanut butter. They were going full force with their hands into the peanut butter while laughing at her as she pounded on the kitchen door demanding to be let in the house.

Dipping hands into peanut butter jars would not be acceptable by any terms. Jumping on beds was also something we just didn't do. Not that jumping on the bed wasn't fun, but that beds were for sleeping on and we took care of our furniture, because it had to last us a long time. Trampolines are for jumping and running was to be done outdoors. I taught my children as I was taught, and it seemed to work for me.

We had guidelines to go by and for a family of seven, it helped to keep the chaos down. I learned quite early in my child-raising that once a child was finished playing with a toy, they should put it up and get another one. This concept made for a cleaner home, and children do better with some form of structure, than to live in complete chaos with toys strewn all over the house.

Now that our children are grown and have families of their own, one might think all our troubles are over, but this is not the case. As parents, we never stop caring about our children. We only hope that they have the ability to live healthy and happy lives, and are able to deal with their own issues as best they can. We try to be there for moral support as they experience life's challenges.

I don't know of any family that doesn't have issues from time to time, and it is also true with our family. As the Tim and Charlotte Garland family has grown to 24, there is a equilibrium that has taken place. Each one of our children and their families begin to incorporate their own ideals and beliefs within the whole. Sometimes there may be resistance to differences, but overall, a balance takes place, and we learn to respect each others boundaries.

I think the most important aspect of keeping the peace in such a large family is coming from a place of love, looking out for the other, and looking kindly on our family members. This may be a tall order, with so many personalities and ideals.

It is my belief that wealth has little to do with how much we have in our bank account. For me, wealth is having my needs met, having a comfortable home, food on the table, and being able to pay my bills and also includes our children and their families.

Our children, son in laws, daughter in laws and grandchildren are the part of my life that gives me the most joy. Cheerful, happy faces, loving hugs and kisses, laughter to the point of tears, is what makes me a wealthy woman. Good loving relationships with my family is paramount, and makes my early years in motherhood worth every minute.

I can not say that I was the world's best mother in raising our children, but I did all I knew to do, and I did my best. Sometimes I think I should apologize for what I lacked, but how can I make up for what I did not have in the first place? I have seen mothers that were so much more equipped in dealing with their young children, and were able to cope with life much easier than I did. It took me almost a lifetime to understand that comparing does little to no good. We all have our trials for our particular purpose, and my trials have strengthened me in the ways I needed them most, and I continue to learn and grow with each new experience.

Be well my friend,
Char

Fear... Friend or Foe?

2009-11-12T03:55:00.027-06:00

In a recent Alchemy training in Dallas, I found myself in a very uncomfortable position. It began when our group was given the task of walking on top of several wooden dowels 3 to 3-1/2 feet in the air, while the other members of our group held each end of the dowel. I knew that this was a task that my grown children would have happily jump at, walked over, and thought was great fun, but that was not my case. I was second in line, and as I watched the first person step on the first dowel and take each step across the dowels suspended in the air, I went straight into panic mode.

I wondered where this feeling of abject panic and fear was coming from. Then the thought came that this was like my birth. I could hear my team mates cheer me on as I stepped onto the first dowel. They were cheering..... I was crying. I walked over the dowel in mid-air, then the next, hand and foot, hand and foot. I reached the end, hopped off and then took my place holding the end of a dowel, while my team mates completed the task.

My anxiety did not end there, but I was able to examine what I had just been through as I took my turn holding the end of a dowel. When everyone had a turn, I asked if I could go through the process once more, noting this time, that I would do this experience differently. This time, I would use the shoulders of my team mates to help me through. The process went much smoother, and I realized that although I had never walked on dowels in mid-air before, I had the same panicky feelings many times during my life.

Fear comes in many packages, and can be my friend when feelings warn me of impending danger. However, fear can be debilitating when it interferes with everyday life. In retrospect, the "fight or flight" feelings I've had were associated with experiences of not being safe in the past, and patterns had been set.

I was overdue by 2 weeks with our 3rd child when a severe storm and tornado was in our vicinity. I gathered our other 2 children together as the rain pounded, the midday skies turned black and the wind blew sideways. We put a mattress over our heads, and huddled together in the inner hallway of the house. Tim was at work, and it was impossible for him to come home. I felt unprotected. We were spared any problems from this storm, however my fear of severe weather grew with intensity ever since. I have had a sixth sense about storms and would feel that same panicky feeling when thunder and lightening reach a certain intensity.

I have learned to resource out of the panicky feelings of storms. It seems to help me every time, and I feel certain I will be okay, and the storms pass once again and all is well.

Fear had been my constant companion during most of my adult life. I worried for Tim's safety almost daily, and was concerned about my lack of being able to manage life with 5 children without him. Fear of heights, fear of enclosed spaces, fears of dying were always with me in some form or fashion.

After we became empty-nesters, I began traveling without Tim across the country. My anxiety over flying was not a pleasant experience. One day, I realized this had debilitated my life, and my fear of dying was not serving me anymore.

I made a choice right then and there about how I was going to experience life. I told myself that one day, as surely as I came into this world, that I would be leaving. I am going to die, and that was inevitable, but today, I choose to live. By understanding my fears, and choosing to fully live each and every day has become a habit and makes my life so much more enjoyable.

There are techniques to aid in healing fears of all kinds. IRT or Immediate Release Technique is a technique I especially like to use and teach that is helpful for panic and anxiety relief. This technique is also being used by some First Responders, and is beneficial in emergencies of all kinds.

If you would like more information about IRT go to:

http://rapideyetechnology.com/selfcare.htm

Be well my friend,
Char

Nature's Gifts

2009-11-04T10:24:00.004-06:00

In dealing with day to day life, sometimes I can get overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, loss, anger, fear and frustration. No matter how many times I rehearse the experiences that lead to those feelings, it doesn't take them away, and only with time, do they dissipate. There are many different methods I use and teach others to aid in the relief of stress and anxiety, but there are resources at our fingertips we can use everyday that we may not be aware of.

The earth does a marvelous job of recycling plants, animals and even garbage, and renews itself everyday. Even though wild fires rip through forests each year, within a short time, life begins anew through the ashes, and the cycle of life continues. I learned recently of a technique that uses rocks, the land, trees and water to help in my day to day processes of releasing old issues.

The Native American Indians teach us that the rocks take our anger energy, the ground takes our sadness and the trees take our fears. These energies over time can be damaging to us, but to the rocks, trees, and ground, it is just energy, and it is recycled so perfectly.

This morning, as I walked in the cool brisk air, I sat down on a large rock and began verbalizing the anger I had felt over recent issues and gave my anger to the rock. I named in detail what I had been experiencing, and the tears that had been held back, were able to flow. After I felt there wasn't any anger left in me I felt gratitude for the rock.

I walked along the path, and with each step I took, I verbally expressed my sadness and gave my sadness to the ground. When I was finished, and there were nothing left to say, I walked over to a large tree in my yard and placed my arms around it and gave my fears to the tree, naming each and every one.

Then I moved to the water going over the waterfall in our creek and let the water wash over my hand, letting it cleanse away any residue of anger, sadness and fear. I felt a sense of gratitude for the ability of being able to express myself, and release the pinned up emotions in such a natural setting. As I heard each word leave my mouth, I was able to get the message from the experience. I noticed with the anger, sadness and fear I had released, that insecurity was at the crux of every issue. This experience is much different than just telling a friend my story. As the words leave my mouth, when giving anger to the rock, sadness to the ground, and fear to the tree, I hear them, process them, and understand the situation from all sides, and get the message much clearer.

Some folks may find this technique a little out of their comfort zones, and may miss the opportunity of powerful healing that may take place. Many Christians believe in baptism by immersion into water and coming forth out of the water being cleansed. The water is part of the process, just as the rocks, ground and trees play a process in this emotionally healing technique.

In the future even if I am walking or riding on a trail with other people all around me, I have another profound tool for releasing my emotions using Nature's gifts and move on, down the path of life.

Be well my friend,
Char

Holding the Line

2009-10-27T07:35:00.007-05:00

A few years ago my son-law Brian, called and told me about a terrible accident he witnessed just the day before. Brian and our daughter Alicia, were celebrating the 4th of July at their friends' home. Brian had gone outside to move his vehicle, when the 2 year old of the family giving the party, ran out into the street and was hit by a truck. He rehearsed the events of the day, and I heard his pain as he spoke about the devastation of the event. Our daughter Alicia, was about 6 months pregnant at the time and they also had a 2 year old son. After speaking with Brian, I called Alicia and again, the story was told and I heard her pain.

It is not my intention to cause the reader to feel terrible in hearing such a story. Getting into the pain of the tragedy for the family of this little girl is of little use. But how can one help in a situation so tragic?

What words would benefit my daughter, were my thoughts? I asked her if they had gone over and over the events that happened? Did they think of every scenario? I knew they must be feeling so many different levels of emotions; Grief for the family of the little girl who's life was lost that day; Fear it was their son who had run out into the street; Relief that it wasn't, and Guilt that they were taking a 2 year old home, when their friends would not be taking their daughter home ever again.

After listening to my daughter, the answer came, "To hold the line." The impression I had was of being in a war zone. The family of the 2 year old little girl were in the middle of a war, and needed someone to "watch their backs, hold the line," and send in aid when needed. Alicia reported that church friends were calling to see what they could do, and I reiterated that they could "hold the line." I recommended that rather than staying in their own pain, they think about what this family needed. They had other children who had needs, funeral arrangements had to be made, meals to be taken in, family was coming in from town, and all the other everyday things that must be done. This family was in a state of crisis, and it is of little good for everyone else to be in a state of crisis too. I asked, "If you could give this family one thing, what would it be?" Sending prayers of encouragement, loving, healing thoughts are needed, rather than rehearsing a zillion times again and again the tragic events. This seemed to benefit our daughter and she and her community were able to be of great help.

At the end of the week, our daughter reported that the family had participated in the funeral, and as funerals go, it was the best one they had attended. The family was aided during the week, by loving friends who saw their needs were met, and were doing as well as could be expected.

I have thought about "Holding the line" since that tragic event. As friends, family and acquaintances may be having trying situations, I "watch their backs" by sending loving thoughts of encouragement and asking "If I could send them one thing, what would that be?" I wait for the answer, and then proceed. This is a powerful tool that has the ability to change lives in an awesome way. It is as empowering to the receiver, as well as the giver.

Be well my friend,
Char

Storms & Rainbows

2009-10-20T10:43:00.003-05:00

I have had many occasions to behold beautiful and breathtaking scenery during my stay on this marvelous planet. Few experiences surpass the outstanding Double Rainbow I saw a few years ago while driving home with my husband Tim. This Double Rainbow came at the end of a particularly sad weekend when we visited Tim's mother at her country home. My mother-in-law had decided to sell her weekend retreat, and we had come to help her move items back to the Metroplex. We were happy to lend a hand, and loaded up our sixteen foot trailer, and make the journey home.

This trip cemented the feelings I had about my Mother-in-Law's situation. I had begun to notice repeated stories, and conversations. She often asked about information she had just heard over and over again, sometimes minutes after being told. I also noticed a spaced-out look she had from time to time, and thought she might be in the early stages of dementia.

As Tim drove home, my mind wondered about the weekend, and Tim's sweet little mother, for whom I only have the kindest thoughts. Tears flowed as I became entranced in the moment, and began a silent dialogue with the Creator. What happened from that point on was a exchange of information, back and forth, like a tennis game.

I was caught up in the pain of thinking about what was, and what was to come. I have seen how dementia, and Alzheimer's can wreak havoc on a person's life, and the lives of their loved ones. I thought of all the scenarios and the implications for my mother-in-law, and our family. Tim checked several times to see if I was okay, because I was so sad, and I continued on with my mental dialogue about the situation.

About this time, we noticed a Rainbow in the sky in front of us. It had been misty-raining for quite a while. Then we noticed it was not just one Rainbow, but a Double Rainbow, and it seemed as though we were getting closer the further we went down the road. Finally, the car in front of us was at the end of the rainbow. What was significant about seeing this rainbow was the message that followed. The impression on my mind was, " that although we may be experiencing what we consider a difficult moment, it is not necessarily so. I may not be able to immediately see the positive outcome in a painful situation. It may take a while to fully comprehend, but there are rainbows after a storm." Illness, disease and dying are a part of life. I am either the recipient or the observer. Because of the experience, I can re-evaluate my life, choose to do it another way if needed, and make change for the better. This is all part of the process, although at first glance it might have looked dismal.

A client of mine, came to visit me at Healing Within Holistic Retreat a few years ago. She had battled cancer off and on, and the cancer had come out of remission. She knew there was not much time left. As she drove into the property and got out of the car, she took in a huge breath and said, "I can breathe again." We walked around the property, and she stood bare-foot in the pond at the shoreline. She reached into a stream and let the water go through her fingers, and noticed the trees, and wildlife on our farm. We had a marvelous visit, as she took in mother nature, for what she believed to be one of the last times.

My client enjoyed that day, what I have the opportunity of living in everyday. However, I have never stood barefoot at the shoreline, noticing the sand beneath my feet, nor have I knelt down, and let the water flow through my fingertips in the ten years I have lived here. Whenever my feet are in the water, it has been to seine fish, and when my hands are in the stream , it is to adjust the pipes that feed the ponds. My dear client showed me how to stop and pay attention and appreciate what I have all around me at any given moment.

Death and disease are as much a part of my life as birth was. Often the profound experiences far out-weigh the sadness..... and life continues, storms come, and rainbows follow.

Be well my friend,
Char

Life Changing Events

2009-10-04T09:28:00.022-05:00

Relocating to East Texas 10 years ago, has by far provided me with many areas in my life to work through. It has been a dichotomy of serenity and peace among nature and its beauty and transformation of our property, and the transformation that has taken place within me. Many times during the past 10 years, I have felt like I was in a black box, beating the walls to get out, and away from the pain I was dealing with. In 2004, I was introduced to Rapid Eye Technology long distance, from a friend I rarely had contact with. She did a very brief session with me over the phone, and intuitively, I felt I must learn more about this healing modality. This was the first time I noticed inside my dark box, that there was a door and door knob in front of me. I had never received a Rapid Eye Session other than the brief one on the phone that night with my friend, but within a relatively short period of time, I left for Salt Lake City to begin training as Rapid Eye Technician.

This experience was completely out of the box for me, but I knew I must go. That week was by far the most life changing experience I have ever had. I remember on a particular morning, our chairs were arranged in a circle, and we took turns sharing what we wanted, and what our hopes and dreams were. This was called an energy circle. I told of how I had a vision for a Retreat, and what it looked like. It was a humbling and tearful experience to hear my words leave my mouth, and go forward creating the space I actually live in today. But the most significant part of this event was when the people behind us in the circle moved slowly from person to person while we heard the words of a song by Shaina Noll. Each one of our “angels” touched us, never leaving any of us without someone’s hand on our shoulder. Up to that point, I had never ever in my life, felt the kind of love I had felt in that space. I heard the words sung in this beautiful but simple song:

How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole?
How could anyone fail to notice that your loving is a miracle?

How deeply you’re connected to my soul.

I knew at that moment, that the Love of God…this incredible Love, had always been with me, and never was I without the love of God, and God’s influence in my life. I also knew that because I did not feel completely connected to that Love up to that point, that I had not fully and completely connected with my husband, children, friends and acquaintances.

Even more than the wand techniques and training of Rapid Eye, the energy and exquisite love I felt from that first time and every time I returned to Rapid Eye Training after that, has fed my spirit in words I do not have to express. Being in the midst of such energy also enhances my gifts to an incredible height. I love that synergy. I know that going through this experience provided me the shift, to continue to let go, work out, work through, and transform this being I call Charlotte into what I know she truly is….just absolutely incredible!

Be well my friend,
Char

"Sitting of the Fence"

2009-10-01T13:45:00.019-05:00

Fence sitting is a necessary part of my life. It allows me to contemplate what is going on all around me when I am not ready to move forward, because I don't quite know what direction I want to take.

Sitting on a fence has its pros and cons. From one vantage point, I see a bit more clearly, front and back. From another viewpoint, when I am on top of the fence looking, I am not engaged in the "doing" part of life.

The problem with sitting on the fence for me is when I sit too long. I suppose this is in hopes that things will happen without me, rather than with with me. I become wishy-washy, and can become paralyzed in my decision making.

Sometimes I can't move forward because I can not visualize how things are going to work out. I may lack the funds, the time, the energy, the materials to move forward, and this gets in the way of being motivated. But more important than money, time, energy etc., is the lack of passion that holds me back from getting off my "fence sitting post." I have to remind myself, that I don't have to "know" the details of how things will turn out.

Today, I realized I have been sitting on the fence long enough. It has become quite painful to sit for such a long period without direction. I know that it's time to get off the fence and get going. I had to look at my life while up on that fence, to get clear on what was or was not working for me, and then clarify what I desired, and find the passion behind it. I asked myself, "What do you want, how much do you want that, and what would it feel like, smell like, taste like, sound like when you get there?" Then it was time to express my desires, hopes and dreams to my Creator.

I do not have to plead over and over again about what I am wanting to create in my life once I am clear on the issue, because I know the message was delivered loud and clear the first time. I ask, and then let it go, moving forward with passion and confidence.

To sum up my fence sitting issues:

Recognize I am on the fence,
Realize I have been there too long.
Know when it is time to get down.
Ask for what I want.
Be creative!

Be well my friend,

Char

Coming Through Loud and Clear

2009-09-27T18:47:00.004-05:00

I have heard it said that we come into this world with our own issues to work on, and strengths to help us along the way. We also come through with our parents' issues and strengths. As babies, children and adolescents, our parents are our prime examples. They are our guides, and our gods, and whatever they say, we generally believe, until we have something else to compare to, and then our poor parents fall from "proverbial grace." This generally happens in the teen years, when parents dumb down, and we as teenagers, become incredibly smart, far surpassing Mom and Dad, or that is what it appears to be.

There are many characteristics I have inherited from my parents, some good, some not so admirable. I had to learn the art of communication with my spouse all over again, as he was not accustomed to my way of dealing with a problem. I learned early in life that the one who could yell the loudest, got what they wanted. That didn't work too well with my sweetheart, and it took me many years to overcome this trait.

My father was a machinist, and so was my grandfather, and great-grandfather. I don't know where my abilities to know when a line is 1/16th off, but I suppose it came from a long line of machinists. I also have my Dad's hands, and I am small like my German Great-Grandmother on my father's side.

Mama was and still is something to be reckoned with. I don't know if having seven children in eight years was just insane, lack of birth control, or religious beliefs, but somehow Mama did it. Mama worked during the week, and many a night I remember her being up giving any one of seven children medicine every 3 to 4 hours. Sometimes it would be multiple children on different schedules. Mama didn't drive for many of my early years, and when she finally got behind the wheel, she would close her eyes going between cars on our street.

We were not considered well off, but I never thought we were poor. Mama always bought us good clothing because it lasted longer, and we could pass it down. Although we didn't have a lot, I don't remember going without either. I have some of my Dad's physical and behavioral traits, but I don't share the art of the "Bling-Bling" with my Mom.

My mother is by far the best looking, most well dressed, and coiffured 80 something year old woman I have ever seen. My oldest sister is 60 years old this year, which is older than my mother claims to be. Mama still sells real estate, and does a mighty grand job of it too. Mama likes to look her best, and has been known to clean her own toilet wearing her leather suit, high heels and pantyhose!

Then there is Charlotte! Known as the polar opposite of my mother. I live on a remodeled Fish Farm for Heaven's sake, and dirt is my middle name! Most of my clothes are purchased from Wal-Mart, when I make the effort to go the 20 miles to get there. Brookshires is the only grocery store in town, and it's 15 miles away. I love to sit with the family around the campfire, or by the side of the pond with a pole in one hand and a rag in the other to wipe my face. To put it mildly, I live the old T.V. show Green Acres ...slash...Beverly Hillbillies, minus the cement pond!

Mama was raised in less than poor surroundings, and coming back to the farm is just not where she wants to be. Seems that every insect that could bite, will bite her, and that's good enough reason to stay away.

I may not share leather suits and designer shirts with my Mama, but I do share her tenacious spirit. Even at Mama's age, she still goes strong, getting up everyday putting on those pantyhose and designer clothes no matter what the day calls for. Mama makes herself busy, she doesn't stop, until she's exhausted, and then plops down, and she's done.

That tenacious characteristic may just be the fountain of youth. It seems that as long as we have passion in our lives, we have something driving us each day. Something to get up for. Something to go see. Something to do, to focus on. It's when we loose our passion, we loose sight of what we want to create, and we slow down, and then it's downhill after that.

Whether I like or dislike my parents traits and characteristics is really not the point, they come through loud and clear in me. If I see something I am not in harmony with in one of my parents, I try to focus on what I do harmonize with, and choose that. I hear people continue to complain 50 years later about something their mom or dad did when they were a child, and I ask, "How long have you been out of the house?" And generally, their parents have already passed on!

I look at "Coming Through" my parents as a grand experience. I can choose what I want to emulate, and what doesn't work for me. My parents gave me life, and that is a great gift. I believe they did the best they could given their situations and circumstance, and it was a perfect pallet for my life's canvas. What I do with it now, is simply up to me.

Be well my friend,
Char

Goodbyes

2009-09-23T23:11:00.011-05:00

Dedicated to John McBride:

John was a good man, and always kind to us, and whenever he said, "If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know," we knew he meant it. This week our friend passed on at the age of 74. Our first encounter with John was when he showed up on our farm, after hearing we needed a hand to "raise our barn" ten years ago.

John loved to fish, and we shared many fishing stories, and fishing experiences together. Whether it was setting a trot line, or being down wind of the "awful smelling chum" he created to attract the fish, being with John was always an interesting experience. He was also a very talented man, and could do just about anything. John was a good one, and I will miss his smile and our visits filled with much laughter.

As I lay in bed the evening I heard of John's passing, I talked to John just as if he were there in the room with me, about what he meant to me, and the place he will always have in my heart. I told John what a good friend he was, and I knew he would have done everything he could do for me, should I ever need him. It is my belief that John got my message. I shared these words with his sweet wife, and told her how healing it is to continue to talk to John when she felt the need. Sometimes it helps to say, "I'm having a hard moment," "I miss you," and "I love you so much."

John and his wife had been married for over 50 years, and to never be able to express what she feels to him, would be an unbearable thought. My words to her, seemed to help her cope. I do not pretend to know the emptiness that comes from loss of a loved one, whether companion, child, sibling, friend, or parent, but I do know that communicating is paramount in the healing process.

When I pull over to the side of the road, as a funeral procession passes, I reflect on those that have passed. The sadness felt by family and friends that remain, few words can truly express. Sometimes I wished the earth would just stop for one moment in respect for the departed, but the earth "doesn't stop" in respect for the living.

So many times, the ones left behind suffer incredible grief over their loss. Some suffer so deeply, that they push the grief in even further, never wanting to feel their sadness, for fear that the dam would break and they would not be able to hold back the floodgates.

John's wife related to me, that she would just go on and die, except for the family she still has to care for. I told her that some people emotionally die along side their loved one, but their bodies live on. Sometimes they live on for years and years waiting for their passing. In respect for those who have passed, I told her, we can choose to live our lives fully until it is our time to leave this existence. We come into this world on one day and leave on another, and in between, it is our choice to embrace life.

There are those whose parents have died rather early in life, and reaching the age of the parent seems to be a marker that their own life is over. This thought leaves the person to never fully enjoy the life they have, for thinking it may end one day too soon.

Sometimes we can not get passed the "dying" part of a person's life. Our loved ones are not defined by how they pass, or the sickness that might have proceeded death. A person's life is defined from the day they are born, and everything in between. That life can be a celebration.

I celebrate my friend John, and the part of his life that he shared with me. I believe I am better for having known him, and I can only hope he felt the same about me.

Be well my friend,
Char

Today's Forecast is......................................

2009-09-18T09:03:00.006-05:00

I have a certain routine about my life in the morning. I get up, turn on the TV and listen to the weather forecast for the day. I often wonder why I do this habitually, even if I am staying in for the day. Most days, it doesn't matter what the local meteorologist has to say about the weather, because we live so far out in the country, the weather can be the polar opposite of the weather in the nearest community.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to look out my front doors and see the dark clouds rolling in, to know rain is in the future. I also have a "second sense" as far as 'knowing' rain is ahead, and the weather in general.

This week, I have been staying with my grandchildren, while my daughter and her husband are away on vacation. I was looking over my grandson Ian's, kindergarten schoolwork recently and saw he received a Yellow Stamp for the day. A Yellow Stamp is better than orange or red, but a Yellow Stamp means Ian had some behavioral problem at school. Generally, he is visiting with some child next to him in class, and not listening to his teacher. When Ian gets a Yellow Stamp, and returns home, the house rule is that he is limited in what he can do for the afternoon. As soon as he gets in the car, he begins to cry about getting a yellow stamp, and that he won't be able to play his computer game that afternoon. The forecast for Ian, in his young world is very gloomy, and seems like it will never be any different.

I explained to Ian that his teacher is not going to change. She is not going to give in to him because he cries over getting a less than 100% positive report. She has the rest of the class to attend to, and if every child talks to their neighbor, she would have total chaos in her classroom, and only Ian can choose whether talking to his friend is worth giving up his freedoms at home. This particular day, he chose to talk, but tomorrow is a new day, and he can choose again. It is purely up to him. He is the only one in control of his forecast.

This morning, over breakfast we discussed our forecasts for the day, and how we determine how our day is going to be. We can create our day, or our forecasts before we ever leave the house. Ian has the ability to choose that he will have a Green Stamp day, and that he will listen in class, and still play and talk with his friends at the appropriate time during lunch or recess. Or, he can choose to believe it's going to be another day of getting his privileges taken away, because he can not follow the rules. It is his choice, but it is a choice, just like the choice I make when stubbing my toe, believing the rest of the day that follows will be a difficult one. Or I stub my toe, and think "heck that hurts," rub it and go on. People stub toes, and children get Yellow Stamps, but there is always a new day, and another choice and another way of thinking, that may prove more beneficial for life.

I generally begin my forecast for the day at breakfast when I am giving thanks for my food. I think about what kind of day I want to create, and cast that forward. I am generally never disappointed. Living a life believing that things "just happen" without input, is one way to live, and that thinking works for the believer of the thought. Living a life believing that things "happen" with my input is another way to live, and that also works for the believer. I use the latter way of thinking, and for many years, I have seen that fore-casting has proven to be a very exciting journey!

Be well my friend,

Char

Sister Week

2009-09-16T22:52:00.017-05:00

Dedicated to all my "Sisters" known and unknown

Today, I received yet another email about this being "Sister's Week." The recipient is asked to send the email on to another 10 or 12 women they have known as "sisters," and so on. I receive so many of these types of emails, that if I sent them all, not only would I be on the internet 24/7, but I would be clogging up the internet daily, to fulfill each request. However, "Sisters" are very special people in my book.

I have belonged to one of the worlds largest organizations for women, that focuses on charity, and service. Giving service has never been an issue for me. I enjoy being of service to others. My issue has been being on the receiving end of service.

I have never wanted anyone to know I was in need. For me, those things were just kept to myself, and I would just bear the burden, and try to get through the moment. I have had many occasions in my life where I was the recipient of service, and I will never forget the kindnesses shown to me.

The first experience was when a two friends from church heard I was miscarrying, and came to my home, cleaned it, took care of my other 4 children, and made dinner. Never having to be asked, they just knew intuitively, I was in a situation where I needed some assistance. That was a particularly hard day for me emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically, but my "sister-friends" were there for support.

Another act of kindness was performed in secret during the Christmas season, when our children were younger. We didn't have much in the budget for Christmas that year, and always relied on that Christmas bonus for most of the presents the children would get. This particular Christmas was pretty slim, and there was not to be a Christmas bonus. I busied myself making vests, and clothes for the children, but there wasn't much even at that. We attended a church Christmas function, and when it was over we went to the car to go home, and found five sweatshirts of all different sizes in a brown bag on our car.

My eyes weld up with tears that someone would think of our children, and do an act of kindness without asking for any accolades. I got busy and decorated the shirts overnight and had them ready for Christmas Morning. The look on our 5 little ones faces were priceless, but I never could thank the person who gave the gift.

For Christmas one year, our daughters gave me a Scrapbook with pictures of our family. I sat with a friend looking over my sweet gift, handcrafted by my sweet daughters. As we turned the pages, we marveled at the years gone by, and then we turned to a page that read, "The Day Christmas Was Saved." The pictures told the story of the Christmas that almost wasn't and the smiling faces of 5 children in their specially decorated sweatshirts. As I looked at the page, and remembered the act of kindness, with tears in my eyes, I said to my friend, "I never knew who gave me those shirts all those years ago." Then as I looked in her eyes I said, "That was you, wasn't it?" And sure enough, it was. She never let on she had done such a simple, but profound act of kindness.

"Sister-Friends" are special people. These "Sisters" listen for inspiration, and then they do the most important part of being inspired....they act out on what they hear. These women do random acts of kindness, because they want to, not because they should or have to, and they do what they do, without judgment. These "sisters" may not even know the recipient of the act, but often see a need, and perform the task without hesitation. These "sisters" are not looking for jewels in their "Heavenly crowns," as their Heaven is here on earth. They are giving service because their "hearts" are in the giving.

So I too celebrate this week as "Sister Week," and I hope to continue to pay extra special attention to being a "sister," as much as having "sisters" in my life.

Be well my friend,

Char

Finding My Power

2009-09-13T23:13:00.031-05:00

When I was 24 years old, I had 3 little ones, ages 4 and younger, and was expecting our 4th child. I was about 6 months pregnant, when our 1-1/2 year old, and youngest daughter Coren, fell on the floor furnace and burned her abdomen.

Tim was working at the time, and couldn't come home, so as Coren screamed in my arms, I called my mother, and she took us all to the hospital. Mom sat with our other 2 children while I went into the emergency room with Coren. I'll never forget the look on my little one's face, as the nurses began scrubbing her burned torso. As I held Coren down, they picked the crisscrossed blisters off, and then applied a burn ointment. Tears streamed down my face, landing on my very enlarged belly carrying another child. Coren cried pitifully, with the look of, "Mama, how could you let them do this?" I wept and wept through the whole ordeal. Once we reached home, Coren was no worse for the wear. She was happy to have the sucker she was given by the nurses. You would have never known she ever had a problem, except for wrappings on her abdomen.

I called Tim late in the afternoon at work, asking if he could get off at a normal time, instead of working late. I told him how I was exhausted, and worn out from the events of the day, and would appreciate him coming home. I never expected his reply as he said, " I wouldn't be any good to you right now, if I did." I hung up the phone, and with a voice of devastation, I said, "Well God, I guess it's just you and me."

It was a difficult concept for me to understand that I must stand in my own power, and my husband could not be be at my side for support. I had to be the strong one, because he just couldn't do it at the time.

Tim was a good man. He had, and still has a heart of gold, but he was a young husband and a father of 3 1/2 children and had many frustrations. He had more than he would handle at that moment. He was doing good to just get through each day. It was probably best that he didn't come home, and I innately knew that too.

Being a mother was the best of times and the worst of times for me. I had to be strong for my little ones, and did so the best I could. Sometimes it got the best of me though, I must admit.

I realized at that moment all those years ago, that I was "not alone". As a young mother, this was my opportunity to call on the "Powers That Be" to aid me in my hour of need. I have used that ability so many times I could not possibly count them all, and has never failed me, never. I had found my "power" and this incident helped me to acknowledge that fact.

For me, getting married and having children was like a fairy story. It was a good thing I was naive, or I might not have signed up. There is no way I could understand the issues that came with being a wife and mother, unless I experienced them first hand. Sure I babysat for other children, but that didn't prepare me for those otherwise difficult moments that lay ahead being a mother.

Whether it was so or not, I felt I had to be the backbone for our family. As the one home with the children most of the time, that just came with the territory. This was a burden I didn't think was fair for me to shoulder all by myself, especially when the children were little. As the kids grew up, the burden lightened tremendously. I learned more about what made my husband tick, and what pushed his buttons and he learned my idiosyncrasies too. I also began to understand that his job was very taxing, and he was frustrated trying to get his work out on time, get home on time, and take care of everything that fell apart at home, while on a shoe string budget.

Because men are the hunters, providing for their families is a huge part of their make up. Making a living, and having something left over after putting in a good week's work would be a plus, but was rarely the case for our growing family. That was the hardest part for Tim. He related to me recently that he felt like he never could get out of the pit, and it just kept getting deeper and deeper, and whatever he did, it just wasn't good enough.

Tim had strengths in ways I couldn't see at the time. We both had loads that were difficult to carry, but we carried them the best we knew how. If I had the opportunity to go back and do anything over, it would be to acknowledge Tim's situation more, and tell him how much I appreciated all he did. It may not have made it any better, but he would have been validated. Sometimes, the best thing a person could say to another is that, "I see what you're going through."

Be well my friend,
Char

I'll give 50%

2009-09-10T20:14:00.006-05:00

I have dear friends that I share wonderful relationships with. Sometimes my friends are experiencing a difficult moment in their lives or want to tell about some exciting event, and I just listen. Sometimes it's the other way around, and they listen to my needs, cares and concerns. Often, in conversations, the ball bounces back and forth, back and forth, and we both have the ability to communicate our thoughts. This kind of relationship is in the 50-50% category. These friends are those who would do anything they possibly could for me, should I ever need them, and visa versa. These friends have not been the norm, but the exception in my life.

Most of the relationships I have experienced have been 30-70%, 40-50% and even 10-90% respectively. For me, these relationships do not stand the test of time, and are doomed. Most relationships begin on a 50-50%, and somewhere along the way, they find their true level.

In The Family Constellation, I learned how important the aspect of giving 50% was in any relationship, whether with my spouse, friends, or with our children. If I give 60% in a relationship, I am causing an imbalance, and actually I am making myself more important than my counterpart.

For instance, if I always ask a friend to meet me for lunch, and I never allow them to pay their bill, I am doing a disservice to my friend, and it may appear I am trying to "buy" their friendship. Or if I have friends over to dinner, but the offer is never reciprocated, the relationship may be out of balance. There may also be extenuating circumstances to factor in this equation, but it took me a long time to understand what I was doing that caused the imbalance in friendships.

As a young adult, I had a boyfriend I was head over heels for. After we graduated from high school, he went off to college in another state. We had plans for marriage a year later. The problem was, he never called, and he never wrote. I had moved from my home and was living in an apartment, and looked everyday for some sign of communication from my young man. They never came. I wrote him letters telling him everything about my life, and what I was doing, and I also included a self-addressed stamped envelope with paper, and on the first line I even wrote, Dear Charlotte:

I never received a letter from my young man. Did this stop me from calling him and writing him? No, it did not. I wouldn't give up, and just kept on writing and calling. What I was telling my young man? I was telling him that I had more regard for him than I did for myself. It was 90-10% in our relationship, and it was a hopeless cause. I see so many young women doing the same thing, and I know the feeling of being "left behind," and unless we change how much we are giving, those relationships are very difficult to deal with.

I thought I would never get over the young man in my high school days, but to tell the truth, he came along at the perfect time in my life. After he left for college, and never turned back, I met a 6'4" gangly, curly headed drink of water, named Tim Garland. The one thing I noticed off the bat with Tim was how he treated me. He thought I was the bees knees. He called me, came to see me, spent time with me, listened to me, and laughed with me. Tim loved me more than I believe I loved myself. We got married 5 months after we met, and are more in love today than I ever thought was possible.

Life provides such a dichotomy of lessons for me. I have learned what good relationships are, because I have had less than desirable relationships. It's all about the lesson, and if I choose to listen or not, is purely up to me. It just depends on how long I am willing to go through the pain.

Be well my friend,
Char

Oh, Just go take a pill!

2009-09-10T11:37:00.022-05:00

Dedicated to Dani, a wonderful Angel in my life!

I had experienced relatively good health for most of my life until after I gave birth to our second child. After many months of antibiotics and being told I probably could not have any other children, I turned my focus away from traditional medicine. I found after several rounds of oral antibiotics, the 2 injection-a-day shot of very strong antibiotics, then a week stay in the hospital, a black, blue, and green backside, I just couldn't take anymore. I was on the warpath to better health, and I planned to beat the bushes until I found an answer.

Back in 70's and 80's to do anything other than the "normal" allopathic route, was very unconventional, and bordered on being labeled a "hippie." That didn't matter to this little 5' 1/2" woman, with a cause.

One day, I found a little health food store tucked away in a strip shopping center near our home, and went in to check it out. I found the owner to be very helpful with my health issues and began taking an herb that provided me much needed relief.

I continued on my herbal regimen, but the underlying cause of the problem still remained. I experienced years of this therapy, until after my fifth, and last child was born, as the gynecologist recommended a hysterectomy. At 28 years old, I thought it was about time to rid myself of this issue, and I felt my little family was complete, and went on with the hysterectomy. Little did I know, that this was not the answer, but the beginning of many years struggling to regain my health.

I have thought often, how those years of ill-health were painful on one hand, and very beneficial on the other. I looked to my physicians to answer all my problems, and try as they may, they just couldn't.

So, I beat the bushes, and tried this and that, and the other, and although I came closer to having better health, something was still missing. One day, I read about the mind-body connection and the information rang a bell and got my attention. I was looking for a pill to cure my problem, and although the pills alleviated them for a time, they were not magic bullets. There was no other choice beside looking inward for answers, and I found my answers one step at a time, as I had the ability to digest the information.

I learned that the "me" I was trying to find a cure for, consisted of four aspects: the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional bodies. All four of these bodies were involved in my health issues. Finding my way to a state of health, meant I had to understand what caused me to be in a state of dis-ease and deal with it.

Louise Hay's book, Heal Your Body, was a good place to start. I quickly looked up my symptoms to see what the probable cause was, and then looked at the new thought pattern that I might use to change my way of thinking. I thought this was great! All I had to do was to say an affirmation, and I would get better. "You are a wonderful person," You are a wonderful person." I tried this for awhile, and nothing. I would repeat the affirmation and then hear my "Itty Bitty Icky Committee" say, "LIAR, you are not!"

Okay, so this worked for Louise Hay, why doesn't it work for me. I studied that out in my mind, and concluded that those weren't my words, but Louise's. What could I say that I believed? Okay, how about, "You are "trying" to be a wonderful person?" Okay, I could go with that. That seemed more true for me. This helped a great deal, and I kept looking for more answers. I used chiropractic, homeopathic, Reiki, Touch Therapy, Cranial Sacral, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Rapid Eye Technology, the Family Constellation, and Past Life Regression. I noticed that with each modality, I was getting a little closer, and healing a bit more on every level.

A wonderful friend related to me recently that she's dealt with one underlying issue her whole life. She looked at that issue like a diamond with many facets. As she polishes one side of the diamond, and it is clear, there is another facet that comes up, and she deals with that side. Some people say that when we've dealt with all our issues, that's when we leave the planet. Guess my work here is not finished!

I do know that when my thinking and emotional state is in a good place, my physical state follows. After many years of dealing with clients using different healing modalities, I have seen the same thing in their lives. An issue comes up, or something is bothering them on the emotional or spiritual plane, and it shows out lastly on the mental and physical plane. It's the body's way of getting our attention.

When I just reach for a "pill" to make pain go away, and the body has given me ample time to notice there is an issue, I am not doing myself any good taking the pill, and am likely to drive the issue deeper. Of course, I don't want to hear this message. It's easier to go get a pill to make it better. It's easier to get a prescription for an antidepressant than to deal with why I might be depressed. If more time was taken in asking, "what's going on in your life," before medication is prescribed, I might have been in a better state of health from the beginning.

I have had many a client tell me they were depressed or sick with this or that, and then I ask, "What's been going on in your life for the last year?" There is always some event that has predisposed the illness. After hearing their story I think to myself, " No wonder they are depressed or sick, I'm feeling a little depressed myself, just hearing their story!"

I would teach my clients how to use a modality that helped relieve anxiety and stress and then I would teach them to focus on what they want, and not what has gone on in the past. When we continue to hash over past events that made us sick in the first place, we stay in the pain and dis-ease, and find our selves further away from health. Shifting away from this is not an easy task, but can be done with perseverance.

Sometimes being sick may be working for a person, and it's more difficult to shift out of that state. When asking the question, "Who would I be without this issue?" "What would my life feel like without this pain?" We may answer, " I wouldn't know how to feel, because I have been miserable for so long, I don't know who I would be without it." So, how is that working for you?

When I discovered the ability to shift negative thinking to positive, my healing process began shifting also. I found each day, I moved forward a little toward healing the spiritual, emotional, mental and physical bodies that make up this being called Charlotte.

There have been many angels along my path, aiding my healing process. The gift of love, kindness, understanding, charity, and clarity are the larger part of returning to health than any pill I could ever take.

I have such gratitude for the lessons I have learned along this leg of my life. What I have experienced in a state of dis-ease, has not only been a huge part of my growth, but I've been able to use what I have learned to help others. That makes the experience worth it, and I believe that was the message for me.

Be well my friend,
Char

Stand in the Light

2009-09-08T19:22:00.034-05:00

Most of my adult years have been very comfortable in that, I knew who I was and what my beliefs were. Last year my belief system completely unraveled, and I totally lost my faith. This, was by far, the most painful experience in my 53 years on this planet.

My system of belief had been tightly woven with family, community, friends, spouse, and my relationship with God. For many years, having a strong religious conviction and foundation was needed guidance for this young mother of five. I believed what I was taught and that was that....no questions asked. I felt the structured belief system was beneficial for our children, and provided them the opportunity of associating with their peers in a nurturing environment. I was, and always will be grateful for that aspect.

My beliefs were challenged by doctrine and history that left me totally confused. I felt alone in my struggle, but found there were many others who were dealing with the same issues. I read, studied and researched everything I could place my hands on. The more I researched, the more my foundation crumbled, until it finally broke completely apart.

There are so many dimensions to religious beliefs, and this situation had ramifications that far exceeded myself. Something of this magnitude in our religion was not to be tampered with, and I was going off in uncharted, dangerous waters. That implication was correct, as the waters became more like Rouge Waves. I prayed and asked for guidance, but I did not know what to believe anymore.

Somehow through that rough period, I found myself knowing that this was a perfect time for me to have this experience in my life. We were empty nesters, and I could take all the time I needed, to work on this part of my life's journey. My husband patiently listened to my findings, and we spent many hours in deep conversations. He never left my side and let me express my concerns and questions. That was the kindest thing he could have done for me and was exactly what I needed. He did not judge me, and allowed me this time to study and search.

It took several months, but I began to pick up the pieces and put the puzzle back together. I thought how my mind had built a web of neuro-pathways with my life's story, and how intricately woven every aspect of my life had been intertwined with religious beliefs. Once the thread of inconsistencies and doubts were pulled, the whole story collapsed, and my ego didn't stand a chance. Who was I? What was true? Was it just a good story? Who do I believe? What do I believe? No one could answer those questions for me, I had to find them out for myself.

I felt the best thing for me to do, was to go back to the beginning and try to understand prayer. I knew when I prayed, I went to a higher place, one where I am loved, and I am known for the better part of me. I would go to a place where the feeling is that of a best friend who met me, comforted me, gave me strength and guidance; a place where I stood in the LIGHT. A place of pure love. I "knew" that LIGHT, and that is what I held onto.

There are so many belief systems in this world, and many believers think theirs to be "the" correct system, and everyone else is wrong. My convictions were right along with them.

There is something funny about "truth." I had believed there was only one truth, and I had it, and other systems were incomplete or were just being mislead. Then I began asking friends and acquaintances what they believed to be "true." It was the polar opposite of what I thought was "true." Come to find out, they also had spiritual convictions about their beliefs as I had about my beliefs. Now I was in a real quandary. I thought how I looked for evidence to support my beliefs, as others looked for evidence to support their beliefs.

Then I realized that "truth" is a very personal experience. I can only know what is right for me, but I can not know what is right or true for anyone else. This was a wonderful lesson in not being judgmental, and to just "allow"others their beliefs without any attachment. I learned to look at humanity in a completely different light. The thought came to me, how belief systems can build a wedge when I only look for differences of who's right and who's wrong. Instead of looking for differences, I felt that I would look for similarities. I learned that my "belief system" kept me the game of life. It helped me make sense of the senseless. It provided guidance when needed and helped me cope. It helped me to get outside myself and serve others, instead of being an island unto myself. It connected me to others through common ideas. It provided a tribal feeling; something to "belong to." It gave me direction, when I needed it most. Those positive aspects seemed to be beneficial, and useful. No one had forced me to believe this way, I was attracted to this system of belief because it was what I needed in my life at the time.

There are skeletons in the proverbial closet of most historical events in human existence, and every culture and people seem to be affected. To continue this pursuit of digging through the rubble of hidden secrets could last a lifetime, as the possibilities were endless. This was not the path I was willing to continue to take any longer. The outcome would provide me only a negative and dark outlook on humanity and its history, and would not serve me in the end.

Learning to stand in the Light, and then to stay in the Light, has been my goal. I personally don't "know" anything else, but that "Light." That "Light" for me, is one of clarity, inspiration, peace, harmony, love, charity, empathy, respect, service, integrity, joy, kindness, and understanding. If I stray off a bit, I just turn back toward the "Light" and find my way again.

That is where I am right now along this path, and for me, that is a good place to be.

Be well my friend,
Char

Being in Harmony

2009-08-28T15:05:00.014-05:00

Musical notes are tones, and those tones have a measurable frequency. Middle "C" on the piano, has a frequency of 262Hz, "C#" has a frequency of 277Hz, "D" has a frequency of 294Hz and so on.

When hearing a song on the piano, it is apparent when a wrong note has been played. The note that is incorrect, does not flow with the piece. Not that it is a bad note, it just is not the note that goes in that particular spot in the song. Let's say, it's not the correct frequency at that time in the piece.

In fact, it has been shown that everything produces frequencies, and human beings are included. If a piece of music was played with only C notes, it might be a very boring song. Music, as well as people, need variation. If a C is played with an E, and A, the tones harmonize. Friends, family and acquaintances are much the same in that we need variation, or life gets boring. Others can harmonize and blend with us, making for beautiful relationships or music to our ears to be around them.

If a wrong note is struck, while playing a musical piece on an instrument, do we become angry with the note because it doesn't harmonize with the other tones? That would be ludicrous! However, we may be doing that very thing with our friends or loved ones. When someone is out of sync, we may expect them to change their frequency to fit our needs, and harmonize with us. This may be an impossible task. Middle C is Middle C, to try to make it into a D, will not change the frequency of Middle C.

We can hear the off notes more plainly in song, than we can see it with people in our lives. To sit and try to make the wrong note, into the correct note, is like trying to cram a round peg into a square hole. It is also fruitless to expect someone to be something that are not. By doing so, we beat our heads against the wall, expecting a different result. This is very easy to see in the lives of others, and more difficult to see it in our own lies. It is a of waste of time to try to change the tone of others. Only they can change themselves.

In this case, It might be more beneficial as with the piano keys, to find someone that harmonizes with the song we are playing. Let "Middle C" be a "Middle C." If they can not fit in our piece of music at this time, most likely, another will come along, and that "Middle C" will work just perfectly for them.

Be well my friend,
Char

A Mother's Instincts

2009-08-28T10:19:00.019-05:00

Living on the farm has afforded us the privilege of having many different animals. Well maybe a privilege, maybe a disadvantage, depends on how one looks at it.

We had goats for awhile. I liked them, Tim did not. But then again, I didn't have to run after them when they got out of the pen. The little buck we had was named Oliver, and was a bottle fed baby. He was very friendly, but Tim didn't like him at all, guess that directional peeing thing was a drawback. Oliver was an escape artist and at one point, we found him on top of the window air conditioner, looking in the window with those wiley looking eyes.

Male goats also have this incredible ability to spray themselves. The smell was abhorrent to my husband, and very Musky. After several months our 2 goats became 5 goats, and the day after the babies were born, I knew that was enough and found a home for all of them.

Chickens on the other hand, are easier to for us to handle. Chickens come in all varieties and serve different purposes. The little Bantum or "Bannies," as they are referred to in the country, are generally good mothers. Some chickens are good for meat, others are good layers, others are good sitters, while others are good mothers. I particularly like Silkie chickens, because they are good sitters, and mothers.

We had a White Silkie chicken who sat on everyone's eggs, and hatched out each one without leaving any behind. This is not the case with Black Australorps, who are little hussies, that get right back into the chicken yard, as soon as possible, leaving unhatched eggs behind.

This little White Silkie hen must have hatched out a dozen chicks. They followed her everywhere, and when she would go to sit down, they would run to her, and one by one, go up under her and she sat on them. Have you ever heard the saying, "As a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings?" It was a wonderful sight to watch. Once in awhile, a beak would pop out, or a tiny little head, from underneath the hen, and then they would settle down and go right back in.

One day, Tim came for me, and said, "You have to see this." The hen was squawking and making all sorts of noise. She had taken each one of her chicks and placed them in strategic places down in the leaves, where they could not be seen, and they were perfectly still. She then walked back and forth in front of them squawking and squawking. After a period of time, she made a certain noise, and the chicks popped their heads up, and ran to her. It was an amazing sight.

We figured she had them on reconnaissance in case of danger, and this episode was a drill. "White Silkie Mama," as we called her, did her job well. One day, when she led her chicks too close to the neighbors fence, she lost her life protecting them, but not one chick was lost.

It is amazing to see the instincts in animals, even at the peril of their lives. Chickens teach and gather their little ones, just as I have taught and gathered my little ones. That "built in" ability to 'know" something is wrong, runs very deep with mothers protecting their young, even though there may be a huge difference in our brain capacities. What a grand reminder to me of just how much I have in common with what I once believed were creatures much lower in the animal kingdom.

Be well my friend,
Char

Past Lives & Past Life Regression....A touchy subject!

2009-08-27T21:19:00.010-05:00

Discussing Past Lives, and Past Life Regression can be a very touchy subject. People are generally very intrigued and open by the topic, or very put off. Some feel it is not within their belief system and dismiss it immediately.

I became interested in Past Life Regression when, during sessions using Rapid Eye Technology, some of my clients would go into a "past life" without being led or encouraged using a timeline technique. Using this technique I would ask the client to go back and locate where the issue had a beginning in their lives. There have been times when clients went back before this lifetime to a past life. This was not a frightening experience for the client, but one of enlightenment, as information came forward shining light on the problem they came to deal with.

To feel more equipped in dealing with Past Life matters, I became a Hypnotist, with particular focus on Past Life Regression. I came to understand that, not only do we come here with our own issues, but we are the culmination of all our progenitors. We carry the DNA of all our ancestors, and in short, are made up of all our ancestors and their lives.

Have you ever heard someone say, "you are just like your Uncle?" Or, "You act just like your Grandfather? There are many examples of taking on our ancestors characteristics and mannerisms, that may not explainable. I have known people to be "triggered" time and again by certain experiences, and they wonder where that "triggering" came from. Experiencing a Past Life Regression is like walking in a waking dream, and being able to tell about what is seen and heard.

The clients that seek Past Life Regression generally have an issue they are having difficulty dealing with. The intention, during the session, is to go back to the time and place the issue was created. Generally, the client will go back in time before they were born. They are asked to look down and tell what they see, what they look like, if they are male or female, where they are, what year it is, and if they have a name, what they are feeling, etc. The session continues on through the life to the times that are significant to the clients' particular issue, until the end that person's life.

It is not uncommon for a male client to be a female in a Past Life, and visa versa. Some clients are very expressive in reporting what is going on, some are not. There is no right or wrong way when reporting what one sees or feels during a session. Several times, during the session, the client is asked "what is to be learned about this particular time in this life, that would help them in dealing with their issue?" The client learns for themselves what their message or messages are, and where the root of the issue came from.

The most important aspect of having a "Past Life Regression" is the client experiences the life of another, and the sees the outcome of that life, based upon the choices that were made. The client is their own healer.

During sleep, the mind does not differentiate between a dream and reality. We may see people, go places, and do things in our dreams we have never seen, or known before, but the mind believes it is happening in real time. Having a "Past Life Regression" session is much the same, but the client is completely awake, knowing what is going on, and in control.

I have found Past Life Regression to be an extraordinary tool and very beneficial , and would recommend it to anyone who has issues, whether emotional, mental, or physical, that are unresolved, as it can be a very healing and rewarding experience.

Be well my friend,
Char

Journey of Discovery

2009-08-25T06:54:00.030-05:00

My journey into self discovery and the healing arts came in 1996. We had just bought a large home, and were in the process of renovating it. Then I lost my job. I not only lost my job, but a friend, confidant, healer and employer all rolled into one. I fell into a great depression, and would sit at the window in our empty master bedroom, in the dark for hours on end. I didn't want anyone to share my pain with me, I wanted to sit with it by myself. When I was asked why this event should affect me so much, being that I had a wonderful family and home, I didn't know the answer.

The new office I had designed, and basically was the contractor for, was 3 minutes from our new house. I found myself purposely driving by, to see if the lights were on, wishing for a reconciliation with my former employer, but that never happened. Everything about my job was gratifying to me. I loved the patients, I loved my boss, most of all, I loved being needed, and felt good about my abilities.
Being the office manager to a physician was something I never aspired to, because I didn't feel qualified. From the ground up I learned how to do transcriptions, deal with patients, and balance my life with family. The good doctor became a family friend and it seemed as though we had a mutual appreciation for each other.

This healer came along in my life when I was in very bad health. I had formed adhesions due to past surgeries, and I was in sad shape. In my desperation I found this young homeopathic physician, who just moved into our city, and my youngest son Elliott, was his first patient. Elliott was attention deficit and hyperactive on top of that. He was affected by everything he ate, and although he had a wonderful personality, it was difficult dealing with him much of the time.

Every member of our family began seeing the homeopathic doctor, and within a short time, he asked me if I might like to do office work with filing etc. The kids were all in school, and this was a great opportunity for me to make some extra money. Our relationship only lasted 3 years.

Our parting was not on good terms and that broke my heart. Not being able to reconcile this situation was not pleasant for me. I understand leaving a a difficult circumstance, I just want to leave on good terms, and this time it was not on good terms. I felt lost.

After taking a couple of homeopathic remedies for grief, I plunged myself into renovating our home, and studying homeopathy. Tim and I worked for 5 months in the evenings and every weekend on our house. Our children were old enough to lend a hand, and we moved into the home I thought I would never be able to afford. I felt like Donna Reed.

We had some of the best times in that house. Our children enjoyed their newly renovated home, and we enjoyed the wonderful surroundings they provided. We worked together, and laughed and played together. Tim and I had more freedom than we ever had, because our children were off doing this or that with friends, and school functions etc.

After building a library with homeopathic books, including repertories, Materia Medicas, and homeopathic software, I began slowly learning about the remedies and started to treat my family homeopathically. I studied with ferocity, and spent most of my time in my office upstairs. Friends began seeking me out for issues with their families, and my little homeopathic practice began.It wasn't long after I began studying and practicing homeopathy, that I was introduced to Reiki. I had never experienced a Reiki Session before, but knew instinctively that it was necessary that I have one. The session was very pleasant, and comforting. I also felt something I had never before. As the Reiki Master held her hands over my body, I felt as though my spirit energy enlarged from inside to the outside of my body. I also had wave-like sensations go from head to foot. It was and incredible experience. Reiki is a wonderful tool and has benefited me in many ways. Since that time I have become a Reiki Master and have used this modality many times with my clients.

Along the journey I also became Certified in Emotional Freedom Techniques, a Master Rapid Eye Technician, Facilitator for the Family Constellation, and a Hypnotist specializing in Past Life Regression. Each modality I added to my "healing tool belt" aided me on the road to health.

In have been trying to heal the issue of rejection, and the modalities I have incorporated have brought me closer each time to dealing with it. It seems as though I came into this world to work on this one aspect.

People are always looking for a "healer." I think it is a common misconception that a "healer" is outside of us. I am my "healer", and my clients are healers in themselves. I am an assistant to their healing but I can not do their healing for them. Sometimes we "need someone to lay their hands on us," in one way or the other to help us in the healing process, and get us started.

In giving my case to the homeopath, I told him everything I could about myself. Not only when it hurt, how it hurt, where it hurt, what it felt like, what my tongue looked like, what I liked to eat and drink, what I loathed, if I liked it hot or cold, or if I was worse from damp, cold, or hot weather.

The first time I told the homeopath about all the different aspects of my life, my health, my experiences, I began the healing process because I heard my story as I told it. The belief I had in the good doctor was good medicine. Hearing him say, "I think you are going to be fine," was what I needed to hear. It gave me hope for what had seemed to be a hopeless case. As I look back on those sad days in 1996, I can now appreciate the experience that I did not want to accept at the time I was going through it. My young doctor-friend played such an important role in my life, from which the next 13 years sprang. The pain I felt back then spurred me into self discovery, and has served a grand purpose. In helping myself, I have acquired tools to assist others. Assisting others on their path, has been the greatest part of my life's journey.

Be well my friend,
Char

Itty Bitty Icky Committee

2009-08-23T09:27:00.029-05:00

The "Itty Bitty Icky Committee" is a term I first heard about while training at the school of Rapid Eye Technology. I loved hearing about them, and I immediately knew who they were, because they had been with me for such a long time. The Itty Bitty Icky Committee comes out in full regalia when I am feeling threatened, unloved, insecure, or maligned. They FEED off of "FEAR."

This committee is made up of my inner voices of insecurity. This committee can go with me wherever I go, and they work 24-7. They seem to be their happiest when I am at my worst. I can not blame them, because they are only doing their job.

I noticed the fervor in their work, when I am in doubt about my abilities. "You can't do that!" "She's better than you!" "What's wrong with you?" "You'll never get out of this mess." "He doesn't like you." "Can't you do better than that?" "Your life is a wreck"

I have purposely called out my Itty Bitty Icky Committee to work for me. I particularly used them during long drives home from Dallas, I would get sleepy, so I would think about some event or person in the past that upset me, and the Committee was there to occupy my mind until I got home.
At one point, they were my constant companions.

The Itty Bitty Icky Committee do their job well. They show up for me when they are needed and leave when the work is complete. They are not biased or prejudiced and will work for anyone and show up anytime, day or night. The one stipulation with the Itty Bitty Icky Committee is that they are part of the "will work for food program." If they are not fed by negative thoughts and insecurities, they pack up their bags and go where they will get a decent meal.

The "Gratitude Attitudes" are another group I have come to love dearly. They are more powerful than the Itty Bitty Icky Committee. The Itty Bitty Icky Committee can not survive around the "Gratitude Attitudes" because they are diametrically opposed to each other.

The Itty Bitty Icky Committee, and Gratitude Attitudes are forces or energies that need to be nourished. The one who gets fed, survives, which may be from habit, and is also a choice.

I actually feel grateful for the time I spent with the Itty Bitty Icky Committee. I almost reached the "point of no return" while they were in my employ. They helped me to know how low I could really get. I fed them, and they fed me back, until one day, on the brink of despair, I found a true Attitude of Gratitude, even in my darkest moment. I found another way to look at my situation from the point of gratitude. From that time on, my outlook on life totally shifted, and has worked out better for me then it ever had with negative thoughts, attitudes and feelings of insecurity.

The Itty Bitty Icky Committee are always gravitating to those who are in need of their services, so I am ever mindful, that they are busily looking for work!

Be well my friend,
Char

The Power of Prayer

2009-08-20T14:44:00.021-05:00

A few years ago, I spoke to a woman's group about prayer. I "thought" I knew how to pray, until I went to train as a technician at Rapid Eye Technology. They didn't teach us how to pray per se, but the concept that was taught was much the same as a prayer, but from a more positive standpoint, than how I had been praying.

During the presentation to the group of women, I put a tape on that I had made, which had a dialogue between me and God. I got down on my knees, in the front of classroom, and pushed play on the recorder. The dialogue during my prayer with God, went something like this........

Dear God, thank you for my husband, and our children, and their spouses, and our grandchildren. Thank you for our parents and our health, .....and.... and......okay God,...... if I am created to be happy, and know joy, something is really not right with me, I am not happy, and my life is in the toilet, and we don't have enough money, and our house is so very small, ...... and ....... And at this point in the prayer, God broke in and said, "Well Charlotte, what do you want?" I was taken aback, to hear God answer me, and I said, "I don't know, I still in the complaining mode." Then God said, "And you think I didn't know?" To which I said to God, "That aspect didn't occur to me, I'm still in the complaining mode." God said, "Charlotte, you are here to create what you want in your life. Your thoughts create good and bad. So what do you want?" I began to tell God all the things I hoped for in my marriage and family, business, health, etc., but this time it was different. My attitude changed. I wasn't complaining. Then, I ended the prayer in complete and total gratitude from my heart, and felt wonderful having been able to turn around my prayers, from focusing on what I didn't have, and what I didn't want, to focusing on gratitude, and what I wanted to create for my life.

In Rapid Eye Technology, clients are taught how to use energy circles. They imagine placing, all the hopes and dreams of what they desire for their greatest good in the circle. After they have finished, they stand in the circle and imagine pulling up that energy from the toes to the head and wrapping themselves in how that would feel. The first time I did an "energy circle" and every time after, I have always felt very empowered.

Some people don't know what they want. They know clearly what they do not want, and that can also be a good place to start. I start with the opposite of what I don't want. In Rapid Eye Techology training, I became very clear on what I wanted. Peace, love and harmony were first things on the list. I also knew that peace started with me.

When I changed my thoughts, my little world changed too. This goes back to frequency and vibration. There were people in my world, who were in alignment with my old thinking. When I changed my thoughts to positive, creative attitudes, some people may not have been comfortable around me. However, others showed up, and were "on the same page," so to speak.

Being negative or positive is a learned behavior, and is about what we believe to be true. If I think I can't do it, I won't, and if I think I can, I probably will. There is a saying that goes something like this, "Whatever you think about, and thank about, you bring about." The thanking is gratitude, and is important that it comes from the heart. If I am not thankful for a particular situation, I will try to find something I am thankful for.

One day, while driving 2 hours to Dallas, I did nothing but give thanks. I thought it would be a difficult task to go for 2 hours being grateful, but I found out it was such a wonderful experience. The time went by so quickly. I was on fire by the time I reached my destination and I believe that was one of the turning points in my life.

The sayings, "What goes out, comes back," "the law of the harvest," and "what we reap , we sow," are about creating, whether that is good or bad. Thoughts go out, and return to their owner. Once I realized I had created the world around me, it became very easy for me to be positive, and change my thoughts.

Each day, I am very excited to see what a wonderful "world" I can create. I ask for what I desire, for my highest and greatest good, and I think about what it would feel like. Then, I let it go, without putting any constraints on creation. The results always come in their proper time without anymore help from me. I am always amazed at the outcome!

Be well my friend,
Char

Family....What's that all about?

2009-08-18T06:58:00.017-05:00

I have fond memories growing up in a large family of 9. There were 5 girls and 2 boys in our family, born 8 years apart. The five of us younger children did a lot of things together. We would go on "excursions" as we would call it, on Sunday after church and be gone for hours. Well, that's how I remembered it anyway. We got into all sorts of trouble on our "excursions."

The family up the road from us had a little pond in their back yard. We were forbidden to get into the pond, but that never stopped us. They had a little canoe on the bank and my two brothers talked me, their little sister, into getting in the canoe. They knew full well, that the canoe had a hole in it, and I was the innocent victim. Soon after getting out on the pond, we found ourselves sinking, and sinking fast! They thought the whole thing was hilarious, I did not. They turned the canoe over and we held on as we kicked our feet and breathed in the air pocket inside.

As a child I wasn't really afraid, heck, I had my two big brothers to take care of me! One afternoon, we went down to the pond, and found a large metal container turned over, with bricks on top of it. One would think this was enough to say, "stay away," but for five children on the hunt, this said,"see what's inside." My brothers took off the bricks, and slowly turned over the container. We were so surprised to see what we called, "an alligator snapping turtle!" It was huge! It seemed. Poor turtle didn't know what was ahead at the hands of 5 ruffians.

The brothers decided we should have turtle soup, and all these goings on were while our great-grandmother was taking care of us, as our parents were out of town. They tried killing the turtle by stabbing it in its legs, and finally put it in the freezer of the neighbors house who owned the pond, because their son gave permission to do so. What a find our neighbor had when she opened her chest freezer and saw a bloody turtle, and what a strange phone call she made to our little 80 something, great-grandmother! I never did know what happened to that turtle, but I don't think it became Sunday Dinner for our neighbors either.

Having a parcel of children so close together had it's ups and downs. Mom worked with Dad and they were gone all day. Really, I don't know how she managed a home, seven children, a full time job, and found time to see to it we had a religious foundation. I remember sitting down at Mama's feet and she would help me say my night prayers when I was little. They went something like this,"Bless Mama & Daddy, Sherri, Kathleen, Billy, Mark, Elaine, Charlotte & Betsy." This was my special moment with my Mother. No one else could share that moment with me, while it was my turn for "prayers." I felt special to her, and knew in that moment that she loved me.

After I got a little older, I remember the times my sisters and I would sit in the bathroom and visit with Mama as she was bathing. I am very modest myself, and don't know why this was a gathering place for girl talk, but it was. Mama didn't seem to mind, and we didn't think anything of it, we just loved this time with Mama.

I've thought about growing up in such a large family and how as an adult, I wanted so much to re-create the moments with my siblings. Those were such good times, and there was a bond with my brothers and sisters that will remain forever in my heart. We are scattered around now, and although we get together as often as we can, it is not the same as being those little ruffians looking for something to "get into" on a Sunday afternoon.

I think the bond I had with my siblings was stronger then the bond I had with my parents. I see this situation with our children and their siblings. When we get together, our children have a connection to each other that they do not have with Tim and I, their parents. We have a good relationship with our kids and their families, but it's not the same as the relationship they have with each other. I love that aspect for our children, and how this seems to continue through each generation.

I have not lost any members of my large and growing family. I have not faced the death of either of my parents, siblings or extended family members. But know that, as with time, the situation must change. It is not something I have wanted to even think about, because I was afraid it would change the dynamics of our family. Each member plays such an "intricate part."

Tim's 92 year old uncle passed this last year, and his 96 year old aunt was caught up in the memories of her life with her younger brother, and was devastated at his passing. He was 92 for heaven's sake! However, the child inside this 96'er was still as real as she was back in the days of youth. Those formative years produce a bond that lasted over ninety years, and one that could be recollected upon as if it were yesterday. Those connections are so strong, and impermeable.

What a grand experience life has been for me being part of our family's brood. I have loved reflecting on times past. There were so many tales and adventures we shared. Crazy times, hard times, sad times, lonely times, celebrating times, and life changing events. I don't have the words to express the love I feel for each member of my birth family, but the ride had been a glorious one, and I am so happy to have walked along side each and every member. God bless you Mom and Dad, Sherri, Kathleen, Billy, Mark, Elaine, Charlotte & Betsy.

What a wonderful legacy to be part of.

Be well my friend,
Char

It's Okay to be Me

2009-08-17T20:42:00.035-05:00

I love music, and for years I have been known to walk around this land singing Broadway show tunes at the top of my lungs. Music has played a very important role in my life, early on, and as a mother and wife, I found music would calm my savage heart, or lift my spirits when I was low. Tim knew exactly which of my favorite albums would pull me out of the doldrums when I was sad and depressed.

When our kids were younger I would motivate them by putting on William Tell's Overture. We would begin to act out the music, starting off slowly and ending up with a big finish, while cleaning the house. It worked out marvelously and helped the job of cleaning go so much faster.

During my childbearing years, being very depressed and grieved, after a couple of miscarriages, I instinctively purchased an old upright piano. Tim probably thought I was crazy, as money was an issue with a brood our size, and he didn't know if we could afford it. All I knew was that I needed a piano. It may not have on key, but it was in tune. That didn't stop me from sitting down and working out my issues. I sat for hours and worked on pieces of music, one note at a time. To me, this was medicine to heal my broken heart because of my loss, and perfect for my needs. Tim would remark that we could be in a hurricane, and I would still be playing my songs.

I have always loved performing as a child, and through my adolescent years. I learned from a very young age, that I would get a pat on the back for singing with my sister, in front of our parents' friends at parties and gatherings. I have looked for accolades, applause and acceptance all my life, but standing ovations never came. It took me years to acknowledge my need for approval, and acceptance, and realized, my self worth was very low. For me, the need for approval was a huge leaky pit that never remained full. The quiet years of living on the farm have caused much introspection about my self worth and have served in the healing process.

Something about my make-up requires music in my life. I have owned a banjo, mandolin, autoharp, piano, keyboard, and a couple of years ago, I came across the Native American Flute. In listening to the sweet sounds this flute made, I found the "G" flute was music to my ears. The tones touched my heart and sang out to me. I immediately ordered a very inexpensive flute and found some free music to work on. I wanted to make sure that the flute would last more than the other instruments I have had, and after several months of playing, and knowing that I indeed loved, and revered my little Indian flute, I had a lovely, higher quality flute made. I picked out exactly what I wanted and waited patiently for it to be delivered. I have enjoyed the flute so much that I have added another smaller, higher pitch "F" flute, and also added the Tinwhistle to my repertoire. I continue to play each one of them everyday.

Living in the country on a 23 acre farm has it perks. I often sit on my front porch and play my "pipes" as I call them, to my hearts content, without worries over neighbors’ reactions. One day while I was playing my "G" flute, Tim came around the side of the house and said, "Char, you have to listen to this!" He took the flute and said, "Go around to the side of the house, by the barn, and listen as I play a few notes, you won't believe what this sounds like." So, I went over to the barn, and Tim played a few tones, and oh my, the sound was so incredible, I began to cry. Our farm is in a valley, and the low sweet tone from the “G” flute resonate through the trees and hills and makes the most harmonious sounds. To me, it was as the angels were singing. It was a beautiful sound coming from my little "G" Native American Flute I have grown to enjoy so much. I often sit by the creek in front of our house, and play while the water rushes over the rocks of the waterfall. This is such sweetness for me, as I play to the trees, the birds, and nature at its best.

Recently, while showing our farm to interested buyers, the wife asked about my flute. I told her about the beautiful resonating tones it produces in this valley, and I played a couple of songs for her, from my heart. The couple listened off in the distance, and after I finished the last song, she came up to me with tears streaming down and said, "I get it...... I really get it."

Playing the flute that day was an act of love and I was not looking for accolades to build my ego or to fill my self worth's leaky well. I wanted to give a gift of music through the tones of the flute that I had come to love. My hopes were that this woman's heart would be touched through the sound of the "g" flute, as its tones filled the valley. The experience was one I hope I will not soon forget, as it was a gift for both the player and the listener, and outweighed any standing ovation I might have ever received.

Be well my friend,
Char

(John Stillwell is the maker of my Purpleheart / Maple "G" flute in the above picture.)
http://www.atflutes.com/cgibin/web_store.cgi

Life Flows

2009-08-16T21:21:00.015-05:00

A year after Tim and I married, we bought a little 2 bedroom home in North Dallas. We loved and cared for our little house for three, and thought we would only live there a few years. Eight years and five children later, we were busting out at the seams. Many times I was frustrated with the almost 900 square feet, one bath dwelling, and thought I was going to loose my mind if we didn't sell it and move into something bigger.

Out of desperation, a couple of times, we put our home on the market. People would come through and remark what a little doll house we had, but no one made an offer. Trying to sell our place was like pulling teeth. It felt "Chunky" or as I also call it, "Jiggy or Snaggy." In fact, we didn't sell it either of those times, and we learned to make due.

Eight years after we moved in, I had the "feeling" it was time to sell. It was a "feeling" from deep inside. Some call it a "still small voice," or as LaRue Eppler, author of Your Essential Whisper, refers to it as "The Whisperer." This time when I heard that Whisperer, I knew it was time to sell, and time to sell it was. We had two contracts on one day within one months time of listing our house, and the contracts were full price. The sale of the property, and the purchase of a larger home went "Smoothly" and without a hitch."

I have noticed this issue of "Chunky or Smooth" many times since then. "Chunky, Jiggy, and Smooth" are more like "feelings" for me. It is how energy moves in my life. When something is in the way, or impeding the process, the energy feels "Chunked up, or "Snagged" in some way. When it flows without a snag or hitch, it feels "Smooth."

When we purchased our farm, I felt this was our spot in the Piney Woods of East Texas. My husband loved the property, and the thought of moving was inviting, but he had some strong hesitations he could not deny. Something felt "Snaggy or Jiggy". He did not know what the problem was, but he knew he felt uneasy. In retrospect, after many years here on the farm, we now know exactly what we should have done in purchasing this piece of land, so we might have diverted issues that have come to the forefront.

Testing the "Chunky or Smooth" waters is one of experience. The more I do it, the more accurate I am at determining what is going on. Sometimes when I have an uneasy feeling, I stop and ask, "What is this feeling about, " or "help me to see this situation clearly."

To just have an "uneasy feeling" about a situation is not necessarily enough information for me. One time I received an uneasy message from "my Whisperer," that went something like this, "things are going to change as you know them." I would go around chanting this message to my husband over the next few months. I didn't know what was coming, just that "they were going to change as I knew them." I kept waiting for the change to take place. A few months later, our business partners announced that they wanted to dissolve our partnership. We were blindsided, and had no idea they were thinking about such an undertaking. In the past, I had always been warned about serious issues, and I had no idea this was coming! "How could this be," I asked myself? As soon as I got those words out of my mouth to my husband, I heard, "But things are going to change as you know them." I couldn't believe it! The very message I was chanting for months, and did not understand the meaning, was the very thing that came to pass.

Since then, I have come to appreciate "Chunky, Snaggy, Jiggy or Smooth" energy. I have learned to ponder more on the feelings I am experiencing and ask more about what is going on. I notice different "energies" much more. I notice whether the energy feels "Chunky" or "Smooth" in the conversations I have, or even writing this blog, or picking out food, or where I am going or what I am watching or listening to. I have learned that this "Whisperer" is there to help and assist me, and it is for my best interest to listen.

Although I prefer the "Smooth" flow in outcomes to my life's path, rather than "Chunky, Jiggy or Snaggy, there are twists and turns at every corner life takes, and change is a constant. My "Whisperer" is a wonderful Guidance System for whatever situation may arise, and I look to its companionship on the journey ahead.

Be well my friend,
Char

Hanging Out My Shingle

2009-08-15T13:48:00.014-05:00

This past year I have had many opportunities for growth. One such occasion was when I was down for three weeks with Shingles. I had never had Shingles before, and for that matter, I never had Chicken Pox, which is the same type virus, so how could I have shingles? Come to find out, although I never showed signs of Chicken Pox, I still carried the virus. Shingles generally appear when the immune system is compromised, or when a person is under a tremendous amount of stress. I came under the "tremendous amount of stress category."

As I lay on the couch, with pillows, heating pads, potions, lotions, and salves for 3 weeks, I pondered on what my body was trying to tell me, and what I was going to do about it. Shingles for me, feel like fire-bombs going off on my torso. They are the most excruciating pain I can ever remember, even more than giving birth, and the pain doesn't stop. I remember on one occasion, I tried a product that had been recommended by others that contain capsicum, or red pepper. Capsicum is very healing for many issues, and I have used it many times in the past, but not for Shingles. The capsicum I used was in an ointment form, and I applied it gingerly to my side, front and back. I was amazed at the soothing effect it had...... and then the warmth....... and then the heat.....and ....

then..... the terrible burning! I WAS ON FIRE. I only "thought" I was in great pain before. Now, the capsicum intensified so greatly that I was jumping around, trying every so carefully to wash it off, while running around like a mad-woman. I shifted into nurse mode and went to the internet looking for an antidote to capsicum, and realized milk might help. Boy, did it help!!! I began coming off the ceiling and finally calmed down. I will never use capsicum again for Shingles! Since then, so many people have told me their dear old grandmothers used a wonderful remedy, and it was....um.....um......oh yes, it was Capsicum! It may work for Grandma, but not for me.
Three weeks on the couch with no where to go, made me ask myself, "how's this working for you?" First off, it caused me to do nothing else but rest, ponder, take supplements, change my eating habits so as not to include things that exacerbate Shingles, and reflect on my situation.

I purchased everything under the sun for Shingles, and the best remedy I received was talking about the issues that preceded the breakout, with a friend who then prescribed a homeopathic remedy. The emotional event before the breakout was one of devastation, and humiliation. I was angered, hurt, frustrated, and offended. Mortification was the culmination of all the feelings I was dealing with.

The people in my little world can say or do what they may. My question was, why it would affect me so deeply? I think it effected me because the issue was over my integrity. Something I feel strongly about. My mantra has always been that," the only thing I will take with me is my integrity. "The other issue I learned this go around was about Karma. Tim and I had recently been on the receiving end of others lack of integrity. I thought about being labeled as dishonest, and my labeling others as being dishonest. I now knew just exactly how that felt to give it out, and get it back....or what goes around, comes around.

I believe I choose who enters my life. It is as though I am writing a play, and I write the characters in the story line. The most important part about the story, is getting the lessons it has to teach and moving forward.

I could choose to put my "Shingle" out for the world to see, and write all my misfortunes on it. I don't think many would stop by and come in to visit if I did. I am not saying that there are not ramifications for actions of others. I am not intimating that I allow people to walk on me or abuse me. I am not saying that when I have an problem, that I can not talk about it, as that is how I deal with issues. It is the wearing the events of life, or holding up the sign that I have been hurt for everyone to see. I heard someone once say that when they got to Heaven they were going to tell God all the horrible things that had been done to them. God says, "and you think I didn't know?" Looking at and doctoring the painful outbreaks on my side, front and back everyday helped me to see this clearly. Today, although it has been months since the shingles outbreak, I still have the scars to show for it, but they are lessening with time. So it is with the old hurts in my life. It is a choice to let go of hurt feelings, and sorrows, to acknowledge what happened, then learn from it and move forward.

Be well my friend,
Char

What do you want?

2009-08-14T00:05:00.022-05:00

When we moved to this old fish farm years ago, we had 8 ponds in our front yard. They ranged from 1/4 acre to 3/4 acres in size. It was a chore to manicure and keep them up. Due to the fact that we were raising fish, it was a necessity to have them.

About five years ago, I began pondering on our situation of having a fish farm. The fact was at that time, the bulk of keeping up with the ponds was my responsibility. Our sons had both moved from the farm, and Tim worked outside the farm remodeling homes. The task seemed unbearable, but I asked God for assistance in getting the work done. I remember how I began each workday with a prayer. It went something like this,” Dear God, Please give me strength of 10 Mexican men on a hot summer’s day, that I am able to do this work, and the task be light. That was not a slight on Mexican men, as I had seen with my own eyes how they could work in the hot sun, and being pretty light complected, and affected by heat, I was looking for some heavenly help. After I finished my prayer, I was amazed at the speed at which I worked. Not only speed, but the task seemed much easier than I could have imagined.

After several months passed, on returning from a business trip, I knew what needed to be done with the farm, and when I got home, I shared my thoughts with my husband Tim. I related that although it was enjoyable dealing with customers, we would not be able to support ourselves with selling fish. I also told him that my heart was with the alternative methods of healing that I had acquired over the years, and that our fish farm was to be a retreat. Healing Within Holistic Retreat was born from that moment on, with the attitude that those who came through our gates would benefit not only from my work, but from the beauty of the property, including the trees, water, and fish.

My task now was in dealing with the 8 ponds that were not in alignment with my vision of the “Retreat.” I told Tim that I hoped to bulldoze all those ponds, and create one pond. He explained to me that this was no small task, and it would be better to create 2 ponds, side by side. Then he said, “oh, and who has to die for this to happen, we don’t have that kind of money?” I told him that there are no limitations with God, and went on my merry way, knowing that someday my vision would come to pass.

Around six months later, Tim’s Aunt, and then his Uncle passed and left him a small lake house. The house was not in very good condition. It also helps to have a very handy husband who could do repairs.

After we did repairs on his Uncle’s home, it sold and we began to bulldoze 5 ponds into one pond, and then worked on cleaning up the property, and reseeding the land. Tim also built a gambrel barn for his workshop and a loft for my office on the second floor. There was equipment and building materials coming and going, and it was a sight to see.

The next year, I felt it was time to combine the last 3 ponds. We had limited funds, but called out the man who bulldozed the first set of ponds. He gave us a bid that was way over our budget, and Tim didn’t know how we could afford such an undertaking. I told him not to put limits on God and we would just see what would come about.

That night, as Tim lay sleeping like a baby, my mind was going 100 miles per hour. I was having an anxiety attack thinking about how we were going to accomplish this task with so little reserves. Then I heard what I’ve heard so many times before. The Whisper! The Whisper that said, “Go out and move some dirt.” I said “what? It is 11:30 p.m. and cold outside, I don’t want to move dirt.” Then I heard it again, “go outside and move some dirt.” Ugh! So I got on my robe, slippers, coat and hat, and headed outside in the pitch black cold night air to move some dirt. I stood in the middle of the dams in the middle of 3 ponds and said, “Dear God, I feel it is very important that this land have just 2 ponds. One set has been finished and now we need to combine the other 3 ponds into one, to make this land a beautiful place for people to come. You created this earth and all the planets, and I know You can move some dirt here in Winnsboro, Texas.” I then began to “move dirt” as I demonstrated with my hands what I wanted the land to look like as I said, “this dam needs to move to that side and this land needs to jetty out this way.” As I spoke these words, the most powerful feeling came over me, and intensified the more I spoke. I also said that I had around $3400-3500 dollars to complete this work. Finally, I was finished, and knew my job was complete and went inside and fell fast asleep. From that time on, I left the issue in God’s hands, and I would look out my kitchen window, and imagine 1 pond formed exactly like I said in my prayer, and continued to do so everyday.

Several days after that prayer, Tim suggested we get another bid from a man we had used to move dirt before on our property. He was reasonable enough before, but I didn’t know if he had the expertise to complete this large task. I called him up and he gave us a bid for exactly what I had asked in my prayer. He completed the work in 3 days, and I wrote a check out for $3450.

Now as I look out my kitchen window,I see exactly the pond I imagined...exactly. I also see exactly the barn I imagined....a red Gambrel barn with white trim. Actually, it is better than I imagined! It is my belief that we are here to create. Sometimes in the past I have blamed the powers that be for my situation. More than anything, I think I not only didn’t really believe in what I was asking, but was trying to figure out how “I” could make it work. After many years of putting this into practice, when I think about a situation, and ask, I then get the feeling of it. I see what it would look like and feel like, and hold that thought. I don’t have to worry how things come about, they just come about. Generally they come about better than I thought they would. That is the wonderful part......and then I get myself out of the way.

Be well my friend,

Char

Letting Go

2009-08-13T04:34:00.006-05:00

My husband Tim and I moved to an old fish farm 10 years ago this past June. It seems like it was only yesterday, and then it feels like an eternity. The years spent here have been some of the best and worst years of my life. I have learned so much about myself in this glorious spot we lovingly call "Healing Within Holistic Retreat." Recently, we put our farm on the market, and decided to move back to the Dallas Metroplex. We have been busily working, and straightening up, cleaning out, and putting in a bathroom in the loft above the barn, while waiting for the right buyers to come around.

When asked about how our recent week went in Dallas, a friend wondered if I was happy being with our family there, and then having to come home, because we haven't sold the farm. I told her I was happy, and being happy was a conscious choice. All I really have is the now, where I am, and whatever I am doing, and whomever I am with. I can not do anything about yesterday, and tomorrow is determined by today's actions. This attitude of being happy is my choice. The years we've been here on this farm, both good and bad, have helped me see this so very clearly.

When we decided to move here, it was around the Y2K threat. That may have been the impetus for coming, but definitely not the whole reason. We left a beautiful home in Dallas, and jobs that were secure. We also thought we were leaving stress behind from living in a large metroplex with traffic and irritations that go with such a busy life. We came to a peaceful setting, in the Piney Woods of East Texas. Our pace was much slower here in the country too. We also came to run down, over grown property, and a home that was in deplorable condition. My brother-in-law remarked that we should have bulldozed our home!! We left one kind of stress for another. Since that time, we have completely renovated our property, and remodeled our home inside and out.

The best part of the experience of moving to the farm was family and friends. Our home was filled with people coming and going and helping in every way. We were a force to be reckoned with! We seined fish, and slopped in the silt, we cut the forests with machetes, made meals, laughed and joked, played games at night, and tended to injuries. Although those were such good times, the difficult times were also in the mix. There were hurt feelings, and misunderstandings. There was lack of communication, and poor judgment. There were tears and angry voices. And now, as I prepare to leave this beautiful piece of property, I walk around

in the memories of what once was. Since that time, all our children have married, 12 grand-babies have been born, and friends have left and moved on with their lives. Now there are no more angry voices, or lack of communication, or poor judgment. No more tears and misunderstandings. Just Tim and Charlotte, 2 cats and a pass load of catfish on 23 acres, with a gambrel barn. I have learned about being with myself. Being quiet and listening to the sounds of nature. I have learned what God is for me. I have learned that I can only know what is "best for me." I can not know what is best for anyone else. I have learned that joy can come when I am mowing my grass, or sitting in a John Boat on the pond. I have learned that having money, family, quiet surroundings, nature, possessions, friends, does not mean happiness. I can have all those things and still be very unhappy. How "I" experience those things determines my happiness.

In studying the Tao, I came across something that caught my eye, and my heart. The saying goes something like this....when we hold on to something, we loose it and when we let it go, we gain it. I believe this is one of the greatest aspects of my learning here on the farm. I had to let go of trying to hold on so tightly. Something about growing up in a family of 7 children must have predisposed me to protect my "things."

Last year, while going through a growth spurt in my life, I noticed the almost unnatural love I had for the farm. I pondered on that aspect, and concluded that the love I had was not for the farm itself, but for those that shared the experience with me. This land was the canvas for the experiences in which the picture was painted. I so deeply love all those that shared the experience. I also realized that someday I would be leaving this place. Whether that was feet first or walking out willingly. This land is not really mine. I have just tended it for awhile. There were others that came before me and others that will come after. I am the gardener at this moment.

What a marvelous lesson I received in the ten years I have spent here. Such a gift! Since I have learned to let go, I found more happiness in my life, in ways I can not even begin to share. Letting go of the outcome of selling this farm and moving on to a different space is a choice. It is not better or worse, just different. I choose to be happy, and "be" in the moment. The rest can take care of itself.

Be well my friend,
Char

"Dad's stupid....love ya Dad"

2009-08-12T10:39:00.005-05:00

Last week, my daughter and I were shopping in the mall and ran into an dear friend and her son. We've known them for over many years, and one really couldn't miss them as our friend was pushing her eldest son in his wheelchair. Something she has dealt with since the day he was born, 34 years ago. I have a soft place in my heart for this friend, as I don't believe I've ever

heard her say an unkind word. This young man I believe had brain trauma from birth, which resulted in being hydrocephalic, having ceberal palsy, very limited sight, and mental limitations. I have very fond memories for this friend and her son. My husband Tim and I, both taught him in Sunday School about 25 years ago. When we approached, this young man remembered who I was, and said, "Where's Tim Garland?"

I was amazed after all these years, he would remember Tim Garland? This young man not only has a fantastic memory, but he also has such a sense of humor, and has a tendency to blurt out whatever he is thinking, no matter the occasion. My daughter Diana said, " he says what we all want to say, but don't." As we were visiting with each other, our young friend blurted out, " Dad's Stupid, " ........ "Love ya Dad." Of course his mother told him that wasn't nice, and the conversation moved on.

I thought of that saying, "Dad's Stupid"........"Love ya Dad," and thought how true and simple that comment is. Our young friend, although challenged in many ways, can understand that sometimes his Dad is stupid, and accepts that, and moves on to love.

Each of us comes handicapped in some way. Some of us have too much money....which can be a handicap, or too little money. Some are slow thinkers, some are slow at getting the lesson, some have good mental abilities and lack poor judgment, or character.

My husband asked me one day what my challenge was. Believe it or not, I said it was in dealing with my little family. I was not a slow learner. I never had problems in school. I was not learning different, or challenged in that area. Because I was not challenged, it was difficult for me to be patient with learning different, hyperactive, and behaviorally challenged family members. That was my handicap.

I don't have to deal with those challenges anymore, but the one challenge I do have is in being over-heated. I get too hot in this Texas sun, and suffer from heat prostration. By the time I notice it, I am already too far gone to help myself. That is when family members or friends are there to help out and get me cooled off. Being overheated also affects my thinking abilities. To ask me questions during this period is fruitless, as my thinking is all over the place. This is just something about me that is....it just is. It's a fact. It is the same with people around me. Although I may want them to change the way they are, there is much wisdom in accepting, and moving on.
I assume each of us comes into this world trying to do our best. I don't believe we come in saying, "How can I screw up my life." If our young man in this story can say so simply, "Dad's Stupid.....Love ya Dad," then why can't I do the same? I know I am stupid from time to time. I have frailties and issues just like every person on this planet. The "love you" part is what matters most. Good thing, my friend and her son crossed my path, as I might not have gotten the gift of this message.

Be well my friend,
Char

Whose Team Am I On?

2009-08-11T21:23:00.006-05:00

I've been married for 34 years to my sweetheart. Not all those years have been blissful. In fact some of those years have been very difficult at best. Now that the children have grown up, and moved away, my husband and I are left to our own devices. We can not blame our issues on discipline differences, money issues, or lost sleep over sick babies. We make or break our relationship one day at a time without the help of others.

Recently, I thought how marriage is benefited by team effort. So many times our egos get in the way of winning at the game of life. If I were playing on a team, and one of my team-mates was injured in some way, I would do what it took to see they were taken care of, and then go on with the game. I wouldn't kick them when they were down, or say hurtful and unkind words, as this would not help their predicament.

When I have applied the attitude of being a team player with my spouse, our relationship is so much more loving and rewarding.

When I was much younger, I could only see the issues I was experiencing through my perception. It was difficult for a very young mother of 5 children, 7 years apart. My situation seemed like a hard lot to bear. My job as mother, wife and nurturer was no more or less important than the job of husband, provider, and father of our family, which my husband saw from his perception. Much like the story of the brain who thought it was more important than any other part of the body. Without the brain, nothing works....however, without the other parts, the brain would not get much accomplished either.

When we took our vows all those years ago, our lives were suppose to become one. Not that we didn't have any say, or personality outside the other, but we were one in purpose, in that we loved each other and would take care of each other like we take care of ourselves. How could I expect my "team members" to win, if I constantly remind them that I am more important than they are? Or that my job is more difficult and I do more than my spouse? Each member of the team is equally important, and the game's outcome is determined by how well the team members work together. I rarely improve at anything with negative comments, sharp tones or negative behavior. I improve with encouragement, and encouragement builds team effort more than discouraging remarks.

Years ago, I was faced with a difficult situation in my marriage. I didn't want to dissolve my partnership, I just wanted the painful issues resolved. I decided that I had to make a choice to push through the trials. I did not feel like being loving and kind to my spouse, but knew I had to start somewhere if we were to turn around our situation. I wondered how his heart might be turned toward me, and decided that each day, I would make a small gesture by sending my husband a little love note, with some loving "thinking of you" type statement. After a short period of time, the issue that seemed so insurmountable, began dissolving. The negative energy was replaced with positive loving energy, and it started with one act of kindness, because I turned my heart toward my sweetheart. I began playing the game of life with my team-mate. That painful period seems like a lifetime ago. We have learned so many lessons along our life's journey together, and I think that is what life is about, not where I am going, but getting the lessons along the way.

Being married for 34 years is not in itself a great feat. Being married for 34 years and still loving and desiring to be with each other is the reward.

Be well my friend,
Char