MY CHILDREN--ALL GROWN UP

Giving birth to five children in seven years was either a remarkable feat or just plain insanity in my case.  I loved my little ones, but at times the experience was very taxing and pushed me to the edge.  Having little children has its pluses though.  If they acted up, they were disciplined.  Time out was a good choice for one or two of our children, and not beneficial for others.  A disappointed look might be all it took for one daughter in particular, and totally ineffectual for most of our other children.

Discipline is necessary with any child, but with a brood, it was mandated.  I remember thinking, "I'll never have children like that," when I heard one mother relate a story about her three sons.  Seems as though this young mother had accidentally locked herself out of the house and went around to the kitchen door.  There to her surprise, were her young sons and a commercial sized can of peanut butter.  They were going full force with their hands into the peanut butter while laughing at her as she pounded on the kitchen door demanding to be let in the house.

Dipping hands into peanut butter jars would not be acceptable by any terms. Jumping on beds was also something we just didn't do.  Not that jumping on the bed wasn't fun, but that beds were for sleeping on and we took care of our furniture, because it had to last us a long time.  Trampolines are for jumping and running was to be done outdoors.  I taught my children as I was taught, and it seemed to work for me.

We had guidelines to go by and for a family of seven, it helped to keep the chaos down.  I learned quite early in my child-raising that once a child was finished playing with a toy, they should put it up and get another one.  This concept made for a cleaner home, and children do better with some form of structure, than to live in complete chaos with toys strewn all over the house.

Now that our children are grown and have families of their own, one might think all our troubles are over, but this is not the case.  As parents, we never stop caring about our children.  We only hope that they have the ability to live healthy and happy lives, and are able to deal with their own issues as best they can.  We try to be there for moral support as they experience life's challenges.

I don't know of any family that doesn't have issues from time to time, and it is also true with our family.  As the Tim and Charlotte Garland family has grown to 24, there is a equilibrium that has taken place.  Each one of our children and their families begin to incorporate their own ideals and beliefs within the whole.  Sometimes there may be resistance to differences, but overall, a balance takes place, and we learn to respect each others boundaries.


I think the most important aspect of keeping the peace in such a large family is coming from a place of love, looking out for the other, and looking kindly on our family members.  This may be a tall order, with so many personalities and ideals.

It is my belief that wealth has little to do with how much we have in our bank account.  For me, wealth is having my needs met, having a comfortable home, food on the table, and being able to pay my bills and also includes our children and their families.

Our children, son in laws, daughter in laws and grandchildren are the part of my life that gives me the most joy.  Cheerful, happy faces, loving hugs and kisses, laughter to the point of tears, is what makes me a wealthy woman. Good loving relationships with my family is paramount, and makes my early years in motherhood worth every minute.

I can not say that I was the world's best mother in raising our children, but I did all I knew to do, and I did my best.  Sometimes I think I should apologize for what I lacked, but how can I make up for what I did not have in the first place?  I have seen mothers that were so much more equipped in dealing with their young children, and were able to cope with life much easier than I did.  It took me almost a lifetime to understand that comparing does little to no good.  We all have our trials for our particular purpose, and my trials have strengthened me in the ways I needed them most, and I continue to learn and grow with each new experience.

Be well my friend,
Char